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Beat The Engagement Blues!
Most fiancées experience "unbride-like" emotions, says an expert. Here's why.
by Allison Moir-Smith
I’m embarrassed to admit that I was an “Insert Groom” bride-to-be. You know the type: the woman who fantasizes about her wedding in such detail that when she finally meets Mr. Right, and he proposes, planning the event is a snap.
In just two weeks, I’d booked all the big-ticket items. All I had to do for the rest of our engagement, I figured, was register for gifts, be feted by friends, and, of course, revel in my luck. I’d kissed a lot of frogs, so I knew how right my fiancé was for me.
When I started to feel sad, anxious, and irritable, I was confused, to say the least. At times I became a complete Bridezilla—a bitchy, self-absorbed, entitled, wedding-obsessed, perfectionistic, stressed-out nightmare of a person.
I felt a deep pit of sadness in my stomach about leaving my single life. I felt paralyzed by fear of the future. I felt isolated and alone, unsupported by my family and friends, none of whom seemed to understand what I was feeling.
Worst of all, the emotional roller-coaster scared me. “Oh my God,” I thought. “If I’m feeling this upset, does it mean I should call off the wedding?”
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1 Sharilee // Mar 10, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Thank you so, so much for writing this article. It has really helped to calm my fears and confirm what I already believed: that I am going through a crisis now, of losing one stage of my life, and going through another. (I am getting married in two weeks.)
2 R // May 25, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Thank God for this article. I sat in front of the computer with sever anxiety over my future husband and this article helped calm me down; at least now I know these crazy feelings of mine are not just mine.
3 joanie // Aug 12, 2006 at 4:52 pm
as an older (40s) bride-to-be, i was already feeling some of the things described in the article… it was good to see that i’m not totally off-base in what seems to my friends as ambivalence about the wedding… it’s a huge day, but it’s just a day, i’ll be married to my fiance forever… i also hope this will help younger brides-to-be with any jittery feelings, or cold feet… nothing worth having comes without a little fear, and being able to be sure of your decision is very important…
4 joanie // Aug 12, 2006 at 4:52 pm
as an older (40s) bride-to-be, i was already feeling some of the things described in the article… it was good to see that i’m not totally off-base in what seems to my friends as ambivalence about the wedding… it’s a huge day, but it’s just a day, i’ll be married to my fiance forever… i also hope this will help younger brides-to-be with any jittery feelings, or cold feet… nothing worth having comes without a little fear, and being able to be sure of your decision is very important…
5 Anonymous // Jul 15, 2006 at 12:51 am
I have been engaged for almost a year and have a year left til the wedding…and I am going through the engagement blues right now. This article was awesome. There have been many times that I have questioned if my fiance is right for me, but in my heart I always have known he is…this article helped validate some of my feelings of doubt and anxiety and see that what I am going through is normal. Thank you!
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