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Beat The Engagement Blues!
Most fiancées experience "unbride-like" emotions, says an expert. Here's why.
by Allison Moir-Smith
Fantasy: Your engagement will be the happiest time of your life.
Reality: Your engagement will be one of the most up-and-down times of your life; your wedding day will be one of the happiest days of your life.
Why? Even planning one of today’s elaborate weddings is a piece of cake compared to the psychological changes a woman undergoes before she gets married.
Most brides-to-be write off their “unbridely” feelings of anxiety, fear, and sadness to wedding stress—which does in fact account for some of the angst. But much of it is caused by a normal, natural psychological process.
From the moment you say yes, you are tossed into limbo, an unknown, in-between, new world in which you’re neither single nor married, neither girlfriend nor wife. Your sense of who you are suddenly feels shaky as you close the chapter on your single life.
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1 Sharilee // Mar 10, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Thank you so, so much for writing this article. It has really helped to calm my fears and confirm what I already believed: that I am going through a crisis now, of losing one stage of my life, and going through another. (I am getting married in two weeks.)
2 R // May 25, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Thank God for this article. I sat in front of the computer with sever anxiety over my future husband and this article helped calm me down; at least now I know these crazy feelings of mine are not just mine.
3 joanie // Aug 12, 2006 at 4:52 pm
as an older (40s) bride-to-be, i was already feeling some of the things described in the article… it was good to see that i’m not totally off-base in what seems to my friends as ambivalence about the wedding… it’s a huge day, but it’s just a day, i’ll be married to my fiance forever… i also hope this will help younger brides-to-be with any jittery feelings, or cold feet… nothing worth having comes without a little fear, and being able to be sure of your decision is very important…
4 joanie // Aug 12, 2006 at 4:52 pm
as an older (40s) bride-to-be, i was already feeling some of the things described in the article… it was good to see that i’m not totally off-base in what seems to my friends as ambivalence about the wedding… it’s a huge day, but it’s just a day, i’ll be married to my fiance forever… i also hope this will help younger brides-to-be with any jittery feelings, or cold feet… nothing worth having comes without a little fear, and being able to be sure of your decision is very important…
5 Anonymous // Jul 15, 2006 at 12:51 am
I have been engaged for almost a year and have a year left til the wedding…and I am going through the engagement blues right now. This article was awesome. There have been many times that I have questioned if my fiance is right for me, but in my heart I always have known he is…this article helped validate some of my feelings of doubt and anxiety and see that what I am going through is normal. Thank you!
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