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Beat The Engagement Blues!
Most fiancées experience "unbride-like" emotions, says an expert. Here's why.
by Allison Moir-Smith
Fantasy: Wedding planning shouldn’t take over your life.
Reality: Allowing your wedding planning to take over your life can actually help you make the transition from single to married.
Why? To outsiders, a bride-to-be’s strange obsession with, say, place cards may seem like just one more indication that she has gone off the deep end.
Many brides-to-be are teased by friends and family; others feel embarrassed by their new, compulsive behavior. But being engrossed in your wedding can be psychologically and emotionally healthy, if you can find the metaphors.
For example, trying on dress after dress helps you become comfortable in your new skin as a bride. Tweaking your online registry—10 place settings? 12? 10? 12?—helps you imagine your new married home. Finding the perfect place cards helps you wrap your brain around the fact that all your friends and family are gathering to celebrate your marriage.
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1 Sharilee // Mar 10, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Thank you so, so much for writing this article. It has really helped to calm my fears and confirm what I already believed: that I am going through a crisis now, of losing one stage of my life, and going through another. (I am getting married in two weeks.)
2 R // May 25, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Thank God for this article. I sat in front of the computer with sever anxiety over my future husband and this article helped calm me down; at least now I know these crazy feelings of mine are not just mine.
3 joanie // Aug 12, 2006 at 4:52 pm
as an older (40s) bride-to-be, i was already feeling some of the things described in the article… it was good to see that i’m not totally off-base in what seems to my friends as ambivalence about the wedding… it’s a huge day, but it’s just a day, i’ll be married to my fiance forever… i also hope this will help younger brides-to-be with any jittery feelings, or cold feet… nothing worth having comes without a little fear, and being able to be sure of your decision is very important…
4 joanie // Aug 12, 2006 at 4:52 pm
as an older (40s) bride-to-be, i was already feeling some of the things described in the article… it was good to see that i’m not totally off-base in what seems to my friends as ambivalence about the wedding… it’s a huge day, but it’s just a day, i’ll be married to my fiance forever… i also hope this will help younger brides-to-be with any jittery feelings, or cold feet… nothing worth having comes without a little fear, and being able to be sure of your decision is very important…
5 Anonymous // Jul 15, 2006 at 12:51 am
I have been engaged for almost a year and have a year left til the wedding…and I am going through the engagement blues right now. This article was awesome. There have been many times that I have questioned if my fiance is right for me, but in my heart I always have known he is…this article helped validate some of my feelings of doubt and anxiety and see that what I am going through is normal. Thank you!
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