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Living Alone And Loving It
by Abigail Essman
Here are the things I know for sure: I sleep better with socks on; I prefer Dutch chocolate to Swiss; I look lousy in black and will always wear it anyway; and I will never, never live with a man again.
Ever since I was a small child, I’ve wondered why people should have to live together. It’s wonderful when you want to be together, mind you, but what about when you don’t? Doesn’t it make more sense to have the option, either way?
I’m not talking about families here, of course; obviously children need to be with their parents and parents need one another’s help with the kids (though I think in principle it might not be a bad idea for each parent to get a day or two off every week). But for everyone else, I just don’ t see the point.
Not that I haven’t done it. For better or worse—and there’s always way too much “worse” for my taste — I’ve lived with three men in my life: one at the age of 22, one at 35, and one at 38. In each case, it took about a year and a half of living together, inescapably, day after day, until the relationship fell apart. I’d been crazy about these guys before that: two of them I’d even planned to marry. The third proposed to me while we were sharing a home, and I said no.
I can figure that one out.
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1 A man // Dec 27, 2008 at 9:13 pm
In my opinion, anyone who chooses to live a solitary life because he/she has a problem sharing a life together with a supposed loved one, has emotional issues compounded with a selfish attitude on ones self and possession. To become easily detached to the presence of a supposed loved one just screams, self centered individual who has and never will know what love is.
2 Joni Daidone // Dec 20, 2008 at 5:41 pm
I can’t tell you how many of my married and cohabiting women friends feel this way. Particularly those without young children. Though I do wonder what that says about our society today. The fact that it is so difficult and uncomfortable to adapt to others, or is it that after so many years of woman contorting the the whims and desires of men that they have come to enjoy their freedom and independence. Though I think the living alone only feels good when you are in a relationship with someone you care about and there is a commitment to each other and the relationship whether you’re living together or apart.
3 Ngaire // Nov 22, 2008 at 1:43 am
Yay for breaking the convention! Society is so different from when we needed our “hunter” male to protect us from the wild beasts.
Its very hard to break social conditioning - you are female therefore you must get married and have children and co-habit. Good on you woman who are looking after what you want!
I am single with 2 dogs and whilst I would like to share this with a partner - I really don’t want to kick my dogs off the bed for a guy to fit in. I like my space and the concept of 2 abodes is great.
If you find that a little too much but still want your own space, try the old English version - separate rooms. Can still be spicy.
Now we just have to convince the guys that its a good idea
4 deborah // Nov 19, 2008 at 1:28 pm
I was reading other comments on this site and I am not alone. Is it healthy to be this happy choosing to be alone? I don’t want any partner and feel very strong about it.I haven’t been serious about a man in 14years nor care to be. I guess 5 marriages burnt me out.I was an only child and am totally content being alone.
5 deborah // Nov 19, 2008 at 1:10 pm
I feel every woman should be a home owner. I have a project going on all the time and am pleased with my outcome. I share my results with my friends & family. I love being single and alone. I enjoy my own company and make sure its not all work & no play. I am not looking for a partner and really think I could live without one. When I was dying I was single & alone but God seem to fill my day with visitors. I have married 5 times-never lasting a year. I don’t like living with another yet I enjoyed raising my kids and see them often. I read on line that there are others enjoy their own company also it brings my strength to my choices.I recently went on a trip with a male friend and we share a double bed room and it validated me why I will never marry again. The t.v. sound bother him,so I went to Walgreens and brought wireless head phones but then the light from the t.v. bothered him. I work 3rd shift and hes a dayshifter so we were on different sleep scheldues, that brought our sight seeing a ugly event, with us having conflict. I can sleep threw noise,lights and alarms. When I tired-I sleep and sight see late in the day.I can tour by myself with no problem or have dinner, see a show alone. I know there are others like me now by checking out the web sites. God bless that we have a larger number of options to make choices by.Single and alone and loving it.
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