For Some Couples One Kid Is Enough

by Karen Karbo

A young friend, pregnant for the first time, is adorable, consumed with whether to paint the nursery yellow or mint green. She and her husband dutifully attend birthing classes. They treat these classes as if they’re taking an Italian cooking course, with birth as the final exam, after which they’ll go back to their lives.

We are all like this, of course, until we leave the hospital. Then the nurse drops the baby into our arms and waves us off and it hits us: They’re letting us walk out the door with a human being.

What does this responsibility do to a couple? Obviously, having children affects different people in different ways. But here’s the great equalizer: According to the US Department of Agriculture, raising a child born in 2004 from birth until the age of 17 may cost more than a quarter of a million dollars.

Since couples tend to fight about money, one can only image the plethora of opportunities that having a kid—ka-ching!—provides. I know we’re talking about the miracle of life here. But still, a few years of dropping thousands to equip your kid for grade school can have a sobering effect on a household.

It may sound like a no-brainer, but remember that at any given time you may or may not be a girlfriend, lover, or wife. But once that baby is born, you’re a mother until the end of your days. There is no getting around it, no going back. Becoming a parent is not like dropping out of college, where you can always return as an older, motivated adult and complete your degree.