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For Some Couples One Kid Is Enough
A mother of one considers her waning fertility but chooses her life as is.
by Karen Karbo
For the good of the species, it’s probably better not to think too much about the staggering amount of money, the rejiggering of identities, the sheer endlessness of the enterprise. Why dwell on the many ways a baby can cramp your style? As a friend put it, “Gone are the days of sex on the kitchen table, know what I mean?”
I do. Which is how I find myself where I am today, happy with the perfect girl I’ve got, and happy with my relationship. My boyfriend does not have a perfect son or daughter, and I’m concerned that he may want one.
He is, however, the oldest brother of a passel of siblings that he helped raise. He saw firsthand the toll all those children took on his parents’ marriage (they, too, are now divorced, though I’m not sure the kids were the sole reason) and he well understands my reluctance to upset the balance of our life together.
We enjoy being able to spend long swatches of time together without interruption. We love sleeping in, catching a matinee, springing for a new saddle for our horse, going to Mexico on the spur of the moment, sitting together for hours, reading. Would our relationship perish without these things?
I don’t know, and I don’t want to find out.
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1 Anonymous // Nov 12, 2006 at 8:48 pm
I have two wonderful children with my fiance. One is two, the other is one. The two-year old is a mama’s boy,but that is ok. My fiance and I do find time to make love. We also find time to be romantic,even if it is just a little kiss, holding of the hands or a hug. Juts because we had children,our love life didn’t die.
2 lynn // Sep 20, 2006 at 5:38 pm
The writer is right on the mark.After our miracle son was born,the jealousy started,The sex left and indifference to any sex life went south.Anger set in,depression started and then I had two kids one still a baby and the other a 38yr old baby vying for my attention.I solved the problem by working 40 hr wks and 24 hr wekends.Then let my husband move 650 miles away to take care of his folks.It came to a head after I relocated under pressure to be by his side.And now with an Order of Protection against him (5th degree assult)I struggle to keep a roof over our heads and love each new miracle day with my son.