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Navigate The fine line between Sappy And Romantic
How to go from skeptic to romantic without losing your street cred.
by Audrey Ference
If weddings can be cool, anything can. It shouldn’t be embarrassing to admit that you love somebody—fifth grade was a long time ago. Not even the grumpiest anti-romantic wants to go through life alone and miserable, a stinky, senile cat her only companion. At the same time, it takes a while to get comfortable with your smooshy side. You kind of have to grow into it—learn to love the love.
In that spirit, when I recently told my roommates and best friends that Frank and I had decided to move in together, I choked back all of the practical justifications for the move (saving money on rent, getting more living space, simplifying our scheduling, blah blah blah) and told them the painfully earnest truth: that we liked each other enough to want to share a house.
Naturally, I got ribbed for it, but good. I guess I deserved it after all the grief I’d given friends like Josh and Karen when they made moves to pair off. I stood by my moment of sappiness, though. And as I sit here in my shared apartment, with my shared cat and my sentimental nose jewelry and my decidedly un-rock‘n’ roll Netflix subscription, I’m struck by this thought: I may have ended up the kind of becoupled homebody I used to roll my eyes at, but unlike my ex-roommates, I am getting some on a regular basis. And what could be cooler than that?
Audrey Ference is a freelance writer living in Brooklyn with her boyfriend and a senile cat. She still can’t bring herself to call anyone “Schmoopy.” Read Audrey’s blog.
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1 Rhonda // Jan 29, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Yes I have to agree on the sappy stuff. And as you found out the communication in a realtionship is worth more than a cuties present or a dinner that is going no where. I find that we found out in our marriage that communication and real respect for each was there the marriage worked alot better and so did our lives.
Recently we visit this site www.love-session.com and they have a love quiz on there and we took it and was suprised at some of the things that were so diffrent with both of us. But with a the great communication and real respect for each other our marriage is become almost perfect….
Good luck
2 julilla // Nov 19, 2006 at 8:29 am
Your article was right on with me. I also abhor the bells, the drag it out wedding, the fluff, the sappy stuff that you’re “supposed” to say. But also like you, I am enjoying the exploring of these things that I have for so long rejected. And why did I reject it? It represented all those things that hurt as I grew up the child of divorced parents and from a family who had -and still does have - a hard time saying “I love you.” So now I say I love you every day to my sweetie and to my family. We have just come to the conclusion that we need to communicate our love verbally a lot more. And little cutesy presents - I love them now! It means he was thinking of me and wanted to show that I was special. And I think he is special too as I do things for him and give him little gifties too. I’m sure someone will be saying…what are you, some kind of a sap? Yeah I am and I’m loving it more and more each day.