Spiritual Sex: 10 Erotic Commandments

by Thomas Moore

I discovered from Renaissance authors that any attempt to transcend yourself can be spiritual. You might learn, think, write, converse— all representing the intellectual side of the spiritual. You might play sports and try hard to reach impossible goals. In a stadium full of adoring, out-of-their-skins spectators, you might make a “miracle” play. Sports can be highly spiritual, to the point where athletes sometimes behave like monks, with their austere lives and diets and schedules. Travel, too, can be a form of spirituality, a way of expanding your world. The most ordinary journey, even just to the other side of town, can be a pilgrimage.

Researching Greek polytheistic religion also had a strong impact on my views on sex. I discovered that people could imagine their god as being extremely erotic, sensual, and even sexy. Aphrodite was a real deity—worshiped, prayed to, revered. In graduate school I studied this goddess closely, noting the way she was presented in sacred art: taking a bath, slowly disrobing, wearing jewelry, holding a mirror to her face.

I also examined images of the gods erect and full of desire. I read that the greatest of all, Zeus, had a 300-year honeymoon with his wife,Hera, and that his orgasm created the many wondrous things of the world—a striking image of the creative power of sex. India has similar images of divine creative eros. Finally, I read the famous Kama Sutra and was surprised to find that it is not all about sexual positions and preparations. It begins by instructing the reader to get two major aspects of life in order: First, find meaning in your existence.What are your personal laws and needs? What are you called to do? What is your dharma? Second, get your home and career on track. Give your life form. Have a philosophy that can guide you, and apply it to your everyday concerns. Only then will you be ready to learn how to make love.

I came away from my studies in religion with the knowledge that it is possible to be intensely spiritual and intensely sexual at the same time. There is no contradiction. More than that, I came to believe that if a person’s sexuality is not fully accepted, his spirituality will suffer. And vice versa: If his spirituality is not strong, his sexuality will be weak.

From all these sources I developed what I will call the ten erotic commandments. Notice that they are not about physical love as an isolated phenomenon. I think of a human being as always, in every instance, made up of body, soul, and spirit. There is no such thing as purely physical love, because we are more than physical. So, be prepared for a broader notion of what sex is all about.