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Spiritual Sex: 10 Erotic Commandments
Discover the sacred unity of body and soul when it comes to sex.
by Thomas Moore
CONTEMPLATION.
Spirituality benefits from some kind of contemplation or meditation, a stepping outside the ordinary reality. Lovemaking can have a contemplative quality—taking time, allowing yourself to be dreamy, giving in not only to passion but also to the timeless atmosphere of sex. Ecstasy, a word often applied to sexual experience, means “to stand outside,” and it doesn’t have to have the swoon factor that people sometimes associate with it. Ecstasy can be a steady, calm progress to a state that is tranquil and otherworldly.
RITUAL.
Sex is as much a ritual as anything done in church or temple. A ritual is an action that speaks primarily to the heart and soul. It doesn’t have much practical meaning. Some people like to justify sex by seeing it as a way to make babies or to express love. Obviously it can do these things, but it can also be a ritual that evokes the spirituality of the relationship, long or short, casual or serious. Therefore, the spiritual quality of sex may increase if you pay attention to its ritual aspect: timing, clothing, music, candles, setting, language.
GENEROSITY.
Sex can be virtuous without being repressive or too clean. The great virtue in sex is generosity, the capacity to offer an abundance of feeling, intelligence, and equality to your partner. This doesn’t mean surrendering completely or giving away too much, but rather a thoughtful and moderate offering of self. Again, this is a traditional spiritual virtue applied to the special realm of sex.
BEAUTY.
Sex has a lot to do with appreciating the beauty of the human body and the person. You don’t have to be a stunner or even pretty or handsome. Fortunately, sexual passion allows us to see the beauty of the body in small elements and gestures. Loving the person also helps, because the beauty of the personality usually gets transferred to the body.
PRAYER.
Prayer takes many forms. Even the monks have said that to work is to pray. You don’t have to say formal prayers before sex, but you can bring to it such an appreciation for its power to express love and to make unions that it becomes a prayer.
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1 Antinous // Feb 26, 2008 at 10:04 pm
I’m a yoga teacher in the tantric tradition. Sex is pleasurable because it gives us a taste of spiritual ecstasy. Using your body for sex without spirit is like buying a luxury sportscar. You can sit in the driveway enjoying the leather upholstery and great stereo, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But you don’t really enjoy the car until you get it out on the highway and get her up to 120 mph.
2 mo tango // Feb 26, 2008 at 9:03 am
I’m not sure sex has to always be either spiritual or non-spiritual. I think it can be both.
3 Demetrius // Mar 14, 2007 at 9:38 pm
More women consider the sex act as a spiritual experience than men. Is the act itself awaken the spirit on another person?
The more you have sex with this one person, is the spiritual bond strengthened somehow between these couple?
I believe that good satisfying sex needs the participation of the body, soul or life and the spirit. The spirit being the most immaterial part of the soul but is in fact the most important in one’s existence.
Is this spiritual bonding carried for life for fortunate couples having a satisfying sexual relationship for many years. With separation from this person justifies frequent dreams of sex with this particular person a form of spiritual experience.
Still seeking the truth about the true relationship between sex and spirituality.