Fresh Ideas for a First Date

by Kristine Kern

Enter Dave Singleton, an author whose latest book is Behind Every Great Woman There’s a Fabulous Gay Man: Advice from a Guy Who Gives It to You Straight. He also wrote The Mandates: 25 Real Rules for Successful Gay Dating. Needless to say, Dave knows a thing or two about men—and he’s willing to share.

I’m an online dater, as I told Dave when we met for coffee. Some months I’ll have the time and energy to spend on dating sites, then I won’t even sign on again for weeks. After a romantic drought, though, I’ll usually get depressed and feel like I’ve gotta do something, and online dating is the most direct route to getting back in the game.

Dave’s answer to the burnout factor in online dating is the “step-up.” “You want to quickly meet to gauge chemistry,” he says.

“After getting stuck for hours with a few losers, a girl learns to agree only to a coffee-screener, or some other ‘step-up’ date, before actually committing to an entire evening.” He’s right, in theory, but I’m so done with the coffee date. I don’t think I’ve ever felt sexy in a Starbucks. I use the phone to screen out losers.

But when, by phone or by latte, you’ve decided the guy is worthy, what makes a great first date? I ran a few of my own past Dave, and he picked three winning strategies: