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She’s 28, He’s 58: They Made It Work
Lucinda Franks reflects on 30 years of marriage with a man 30 years older.
by Lucinda Franks
When my husband announced he was marrying me, his cousin asked him to see a psychiatrist. His sister put her hand to her head. His four children, two dogs, and one cat turned up their noses at the very sight of us.My friends dispensed equal encouragement. “What’s going to happen when he’s 75?” asked one of them. “You love to hike and swim. Can he still do stuff like that?” wondered another.
At age 58, Bob Morgenthau was some three decades older than I was, and back in the 1970s, May-December marriages between professionals were about as popular as Cambodian root canal. “You don’t plan to have children, do you?” asked one of Bob’s kids, horrified.
Only my dad, a mere six years older than my husband,was cheerful about Bob’s proposal. “Isn’t that nice,” he said.
We felt like Romeo and Juliet—albeit a hoarier version—for, in the face of universal resistance,we fell even more hopelessly in love.
It all began with a simple,white, knit poncho. I wore it while interviewing Bob for a story about the fall of the Nixon administration, which had forced him out as U.S. attorney in 1970. After I left, he had the peculiar experience of being haunted by the garment. And because I had asked so many questions, he thought I was either the dumbest or the smartest reporter he had ever met. Mercifully,when he read my story, he concluded I was the latter.
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1 Lovely // Mar 30, 2008 at 3:39 pm
That was a beautiful story. I’ve been married to my husband for only two years. The marriage was very much rushed into.I was 21 years old and he was 42 years old. He is 21 years older than I am. The age difference bothered me a little. But my parent convince me to marry him because that time they saw how well he was taking care of me. He was very caring, loving, patient, hard worker (have his own business),and always there for me. So I decided to get marry to him. But after I got married, that was when it really hit me and started thinking about the age difference. When ever we go in public or a party where there is a lot of people, I always feel ashamed to be seen with him. He doesn’t know that, I have live in a lie with this man for a long time.Because of this reason I have developed depression. I am no more happy like I use to be 2 years ago. I don’t have any friends to talk to and I don’t even trust anybody to talk to about my problems. But I wonder if this bad feelings will ever go away. I am now pregnant with his baby(8 weeks pregnant). I don’t know what to do please help. I am afraid to get divorce because everyone one will look down on me.
2 Eva // May 20, 2007 at 6:08 am
My husband is 22 years older than I am and we’re still honeymooning after 10 years of marriage. Thank you for sharing your story, Lucinda!
3 Dee // Mar 15, 2007 at 10:13 am
What an incredibly beautiful love story. I saw Lucinda on Fox&Friends and was so impressed with her and the topic of her Father’s Secret War. My library does not currently have her book so I was in search of some info on Ms. Franks when I discovered this story that touched my heart. My day is a brighter for having read it!
4 Peter // Dec 20, 2006 at 11:05 pm
After being apart from the Morgenthau’s for so many years I heard the Lucinda had some surgery. I gave her a call to offer advice. It was great talking to her after all these years.
Thought I would do a ‘google’ on her and see if she had anything on the Net.
This article was just great. Brought back memories of days gone by. I was there in the beginning of the courtship and lived through it. Never doubted for a second it wouldn’t last.
This was a lady who knew what she wanted, maybe a little flaky, but bright, kind, and always with a smile of her face.
Mr. Morgenthau was, and still is the Rock of Gibraltor. He values family and wanted to keep it going when he got another chance.
Ms. Lucinda Franks are about 180 degrees apart in matters of wars, law enforcement, etc.,. That was then, this is now. She is obviously a lot smarter than I was. I am still trying to catch up with the rest of the pack.