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The Etiquette of Oral Sex
The ups, downs and in-betweens of oral sex.
by Ky Henderson
Problems arise, however, because oral sex can tap into a wide range of insecurities, fears, and neuroses. Pleasuring someone is usually a solo performance, which can be nerve-racking.
If you’re giving it, you need to be extremely comfortable with, as biologists say, your partner’s crotch. Conversely, if you’re receiving it, you need to be extremely comfortable with your own. The net result can leave one or both partners wanting more, wanting less— or simply wanting to beat their heads against a wall.
“Oral sex is one of the most highly erotic, loving, and satisfying sexual activities you can indulge in,” says Dr. Ava Cadell, a sex therapist and the author of The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Oral Sex. “It’s part and parcel of being a great lover. So if one person wants it and the other doesn’t, it can be a deal breaker in a relationship.”
According to the CDC, about 90 percent of men and women have had oral sex at some point in their lives— but that doesn’t mean they continue to have it regularly, or even that they liked it in the first place. The reasons why some folks aren’t up on going down are a Freudian’s, er, wet dream: People fear it’s unhygienic.
Or they dislike the taste. Or they worry their technique is bad. Or they simply find the idea of faces being in places swimsuits cover to be generally unpleasant.
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1 Robert Wm. King // Nov 22, 2008 at 4:17 pm
my girl just emailed me “she wants the whole of me in her mouth” I responded then what does she plan on doing with it? and did she know any tricks? Is that chauvenistic of me or should I just be happy to be there?
2 Robert Wm. King // Nov 22, 2008 at 4:05 pm
ETIQUETTE: I DIDN’T THINK I SHOULD “bow” and she “cirtsey” first before we go down, but then what ever it takes ………..
3 Tanya // Nov 17, 2008 at 3:53 pm
I just have to say that at the end of the article it says “don’t tell him what you want while his head is down there, but before!” but I think its ok to tell him/instruct him while he is down there. I actually had a guy tell me this. So go ahead ladies! Tell em what you like! and anytime!
4 Blogger Crush: Girl With A One-Track Mind // Aug 23, 2008 at 11:00 am
[…] Margolis no longer pens exposes about masturbation and graphic descriptions of cunnilingus, her blog is still a delightful read. These days she writes about the consequences of being a […]
5 Dark // Aug 5, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I give my boyfriend oral all the time. Not only does he enjoy it (duh) but I love doing it myself so its all good. The key is in the enthusiasm. Plus, its a good way to get your motor running for some good sex
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