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Last (Single) Woman Standing
Marnie Hanel on being single in a sea of married friends.
by Marnie Hanel
Somewhere back there, I was left behind. It happened at my book club. When the group started, we were seven women who craved cheap wine more than Jhumpa Lahiri’s The Namesake.
The text was just an excuse to air our grievances: My mom and I are fighting; my boss hates me and I hate her; the new dog is too big for the old apartment; I ran into my ex; you’ll never believe what happened last night.
We drained our glasses and edited each other’s problems. Everything seemed more manageable with corrections. When it came time for Allison* to vent, the responses were different. She was married, her life doubled.
She might as well have been sending a postcard from a foreign land. The journey was difficult but I’ve finally arrived. Determined to conquer the language barrier. Kisses! We had to squint to decipher her handwriting.
So when, within six months, four members of my book club got engaged, I was confused. I mean, I knew what to say. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you!
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1 T // Jun 2, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Yes, this year is like a cascade of weddings- one after another. At 28 Im not only single, Im not really interested in getting married, I need to finish my attempt at graduate school.. Seeing all my once single friends, and ex-boyfriends one by one get married.. it makes me feel alittle lonely and left out.. but then I realized like the author, I only have me to take care of for now.. no hubby, no babies, and no in-laws.. and then I sigh a relief to myself.. or it is denial??
2 Erin // Mar 16, 2007 at 9:41 am
Thank you so much for this article! My group of girlfriends all got engaged, one after the other, like it was a trend, and now all except one of them have lost their heads over their weddings and have become so full of themselves. Whenever we all get together (boys included) all they talk about is buying a home and their wedding, and disclude my boyfriend and I. It felt good to read an article with someone else in a similar situation. Thanks!!
3 Maria // Mar 4, 2007 at 8:44 pm
I really enjoyed this article. I am 25 and single and dating, and all my friends are getting married this year or have a boyfriend. It is funny how they forget how things used to be. Only me and one of my other friends are single and enjoying life in other means than having to plan a wedding. I do giver support for the weddings, but shopping and thinking of dresses is definetely the thing to do..thanks..i love this article.
4 M // Jan 15, 2007 at 11:10 pm
I appreciated the article. Thank you for writing it. I am a part of a group where I am one of the last singles standing! It doesn’t feel great but this article was just what I needed to keep it all in perspective.