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Last (Single) Woman Standing
Marnie Hanel on being single in a sea of married friends.
by Marnie Hanel
I opened the bathroom door and hugged the last single girl in the universe. “Maybe,” she said tearfully, “It’s time to quit book club.”
Instead, we decided to ditch. Lily went “out of town.” I sent my regrets and agreed to a date with a guy who was certainly not marriage material. As I flirted and sipped my vodka soda, I thought of the double-faced satin strapless fit-to-flair gown that was surely being discussed uptown. I ordered another cocktail and drank it, fast.
The following book club meeting had a scheduling snafu. Last minute cancellations started popping up at 3 o’clock, so I thought it would be rude not to go. The summer heat had forced us to abandon our apartments entirely. When I arrived at the chosen restaurant, it was down to three: two brides-to-be and me.
Dutifully, I played the single person, entertaining the girls with my standard dating disaster stories. At the time, the problem I liked to exaggerate most was the banker. He adored playing games and was never going to settle down, never going to be my boyfriend.
Anyone, everyone, knew this … which meant he had me on a string—pulling me in, driving me crazy, letting me out, hurting my pride. Just generally a bad idea. Everyone thought so. Except, as it turned out, the fiancées.
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1 T // Jun 2, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Yes, this year is like a cascade of weddings- one after another. At 28 Im not only single, Im not really interested in getting married, I need to finish my attempt at graduate school.. Seeing all my once single friends, and ex-boyfriends one by one get married.. it makes me feel alittle lonely and left out.. but then I realized like the author, I only have me to take care of for now.. no hubby, no babies, and no in-laws.. and then I sigh a relief to myself.. or it is denial??
2 Erin // Mar 16, 2007 at 9:41 am
Thank you so much for this article! My group of girlfriends all got engaged, one after the other, like it was a trend, and now all except one of them have lost their heads over their weddings and have become so full of themselves. Whenever we all get together (boys included) all they talk about is buying a home and their wedding, and disclude my boyfriend and I. It felt good to read an article with someone else in a similar situation. Thanks!!
3 Maria // Mar 4, 2007 at 8:44 pm
I really enjoyed this article. I am 25 and single and dating, and all my friends are getting married this year or have a boyfriend. It is funny how they forget how things used to be. Only me and one of my other friends are single and enjoying life in other means than having to plan a wedding. I do giver support for the weddings, but shopping and thinking of dresses is definetely the thing to do..thanks..i love this article.
4 M // Jan 15, 2007 at 11:10 pm
I appreciated the article. Thank you for writing it. I am a part of a group where I am one of the last singles standing! It doesn’t feel great but this article was just what I needed to keep it all in perspective.