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Last (Single) Woman Standing
Marnie Hanel on being single in a sea of married friends.
by Marnie Hanel
“Ooooh. The lost cause. I remember how fun that was,” one of them said.
“There’s nothing like that feeling of falling, really falling, for someone,” the other added.
“Can you believe we’re never going to do that again?”
I had to do a double take. A person’s memory is a cagey thing. While I clearly recalled comforting the fiancées when they rejected the Wrong Ones and found the Right Ones, they’d now deluded themselves into thinking they’d had fun. And one day—if I managed to reprogram my Pavlovian nausea for certain ex-boyfriends’ names—I might feel the same. Regardless, I would pretend to feel the same.
Later that week, I had lunch with a college friend, my first to get married. I gasped when she told me that she was also going to be the first to leave her husband. I thought of the term that describes this phenomenon: starter marriage.
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1 T // Jun 2, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Yes, this year is like a cascade of weddings- one after another. At 28 Im not only single, Im not really interested in getting married, I need to finish my attempt at graduate school.. Seeing all my once single friends, and ex-boyfriends one by one get married.. it makes me feel alittle lonely and left out.. but then I realized like the author, I only have me to take care of for now.. no hubby, no babies, and no in-laws.. and then I sigh a relief to myself.. or it is denial??
2 Erin // Mar 16, 2007 at 9:41 am
Thank you so much for this article! My group of girlfriends all got engaged, one after the other, like it was a trend, and now all except one of them have lost their heads over their weddings and have become so full of themselves. Whenever we all get together (boys included) all they talk about is buying a home and their wedding, and disclude my boyfriend and I. It felt good to read an article with someone else in a similar situation. Thanks!!
3 Maria // Mar 4, 2007 at 8:44 pm
I really enjoyed this article. I am 25 and single and dating, and all my friends are getting married this year or have a boyfriend. It is funny how they forget how things used to be. Only me and one of my other friends are single and enjoying life in other means than having to plan a wedding. I do giver support for the weddings, but shopping and thinking of dresses is definetely the thing to do..thanks..i love this article.
4 M // Jan 15, 2007 at 11:10 pm
I appreciated the article. Thank you for writing it. I am a part of a group where I am one of the last singles standing! It doesn’t feel great but this article was just what I needed to keep it all in perspective.