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Last (Single) Woman Standing
Marnie Hanel on being single in a sea of married friends.
by Marnie Hanel
But listening to her quietly explain her decision, it seemed bigger than a starter, more than a main course—an entire buffet laced with salmonella. She was surviving a great loss, certainly the greatest of anyone I’d ever known.
That day I wasn’t in such a rush to get married, to trust my happiness to someone else. I may not be perfect, but at least I’m familiar with my deficiencies. My flaws rarely blindside me; I’ve been hiding them for years.
I returned to book club thinking about the upside of watching my friends dive in first, toe the squishy bottom, invent swimming. I might get a sunburn, but they could drown.
Full of apologies, I arrived with a bottle of wine as my olive branch. It was as if I’d never left. (Since I never announced my departure, I suppose I hadn’t.) And within five minutes, we were back to color schemes and location fees.
Nothing had changed. One hour of tulle-draped conversation later, in a well-intentioned attempt to include me, a fiancée turned and said, “What do you want your ring to look like?” I had no idea. “Where will you get married?” I was equally stumped.
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1 T // Jun 2, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Yes, this year is like a cascade of weddings- one after another. At 28 Im not only single, Im not really interested in getting married, I need to finish my attempt at graduate school.. Seeing all my once single friends, and ex-boyfriends one by one get married.. it makes me feel alittle lonely and left out.. but then I realized like the author, I only have me to take care of for now.. no hubby, no babies, and no in-laws.. and then I sigh a relief to myself.. or it is denial??
2 Erin // Mar 16, 2007 at 9:41 am
Thank you so much for this article! My group of girlfriends all got engaged, one after the other, like it was a trend, and now all except one of them have lost their heads over their weddings and have become so full of themselves. Whenever we all get together (boys included) all they talk about is buying a home and their wedding, and disclude my boyfriend and I. It felt good to read an article with someone else in a similar situation. Thanks!!
3 Maria // Mar 4, 2007 at 8:44 pm
I really enjoyed this article. I am 25 and single and dating, and all my friends are getting married this year or have a boyfriend. It is funny how they forget how things used to be. Only me and one of my other friends are single and enjoying life in other means than having to plan a wedding. I do giver support for the weddings, but shopping and thinking of dresses is definetely the thing to do..thanks..i love this article.
4 M // Jan 15, 2007 at 11:10 pm
I appreciated the article. Thank you for writing it. I am a part of a group where I am one of the last singles standing! It doesn’t feel great but this article was just what I needed to keep it all in perspective.