Charitable Giving: A New Way To Bond

by Martha Baer

“I’d been involved with the Women’s Building,” she says of a nonprofit in San Francisco, “and they were having a big anniversary event. They put the names of the people who had supported it in the program: Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So, and the So-and-So family, and then—me. It’s not that I’d need it in order to feel validated, but I thought it would have been nice to see his name with mine; it would be showing that in partnership we believe in something.”

This impulse is driving a new trend in philanthropy, championed by a charming, astute nonprofit executive named Bethany Robertson. Several years ago, “I was at the age when everyone started getting married,” she says, “and I was constantly going to weddings.”

In an era when the average cost of a wedding in the United States is upwards of $25,000, and more than half of all couples are paying for part of that, she noticed that many of her friends were uncomfortable with the extravagance. Plus, they didn’t really need the material support traditional weddings engender.

“On average, brides are 27 and grooms 29, and their homes are already established,” Robertson explains; 60 percent have already been living together. So Robertson came up with a way for them to incorporate charitable giving into their weddings; in 2002, she launched the I Do Foundation.

The organization has been a huge success. (This year, 10 percent of the 2.1 million couples who get married will consult www.idofoundation.org.) A gift registry, a wedding-favors service, and offers from travel and other event suppliers allow brides and grooms to direct some portion of their costs or their guests’ costs to the charity of their choice.