New Relationship Rules: Texting & IMing

A guide to good communication etiquette. How often to text, call and IM.

by Dean Chandler

(Page 2 of 2)

INSTANT MESSAGING
MEN If you indulge in this daytime devil, you probably send porn to friends, jokes to colleagues, and confessions to your clergy. Don’t send any of these to your girl. IM her evening plans, dinner reservations, sweet nothings. Again, never use punctuation faces.
WOMEN Don’t IM us what shoes your boss is wearing, or how short your coworker’s skirt is—unless she’s cute and you have photographic proof. Do IM us things that are mutually interesting—for example, specific things that you want to do to us. Feel free to come up with new ways to use punctuation faces for that.

With all the communication tools we’ve been given, it’s important not to dilute the message. As Chief Ten Bears says in The Outlaw Josey Wales, “There is iron in your words.” Let’s try to keep it that way. Once words lose their strength, they lose their effectiveness, and the only way to get it back is to move miles apart, live in desolate shacks, and send letters via that guy on horseback—who certainly wouldn’t look out for your mother along the way.

Dean Chandler is a Tango contributing editor.

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9 responses so far

1 lara // Oct 26, 2008 at 2:40 pm

what a load of crap! im a 28 year old women in a relationship. I hate phone calls for a start, i rarely answer my phone. He’ll call me about twise a day minimum and i can’t wait to get off the phone. I don’t mind texting but his messages go on for pages lol, if im not busy i’ll text back for about an hour but if i am busy i’ll tell him so but he’ll still text!!! lol i love smiley faces, he does 2 or 3 per message and i love them, it helps me to know his tone, expression etc. But overall he does most of the calling and texting, we banter, have a laugh, are both cheeky but i never talk about shoes? why the hell would i? boring as hell even for a women i would assume…

2 David // Mar 21, 2007 at 3:09 am

This guy has it nailed as we who are now referred to as Baby Boomer Men are not all interested in the high school level chatty cathy women at all and we are most certainly not interested in “Enlighted”, the “Progressive” or forever “Artcy-Fartcy” ones either. Whatever happened to the women that are Touchable in Heart, Body and Soul… instead of todays, Hey… buddy, want to arm wrassSSsle to see who is more PC? Now before the forever~more PC women’s army launch their fast-attacks, not everyone is perfectly matched for another and it is Ok to be different too, so is there any room for a extremely intelligent, active and ex-CEO that is best referred to as good old country boy that speaks more than just English, has traveled the world and yet, will never be too old to want to hold his sweethearts hand in public? FYI: To stay on subject, I never-ever turn off my cell, am seldom more than 20′ from my wireless laptop and yet, I always have time to buy flowers for my sweetheart just to see smile a little brighter… That’s how we do things in the Pacific NW and being electronically joined at the hip is NOT the way to keep a relationship alive either… Best of Luck to all… smile

3 tango // Nov 27, 2006 at 3:58 pm

5+Stars on Dean’s Dating Meets Tech Article!!!!!! LOL!! As a 50ish single divorced woman it is quite apparent that today is really different on the single scene….and I thought I all had to be concerned with was eye concealer for my wrinkles and the ability to suck my stomach in with my best pair of jeans on!!!! Super TIPS Dean-LOVED IT!!!!!

4 tango // Nov 27, 2006 at 3:58 pm