Should I Tell My Date I Want A Baby?

by Cathi Hanauer and Daniel Jones

There is another way! Take R.G.G. to a nice restaurant and, when the mood is right, explain to him where you are in life. Tell him you’ve always wanted children but time is now short (make a joke about not putting pressure on him), and so you’re looking into doing it on your own. Tell him you’re ambivalent about it and still looking for the right man (make another joke), and see how he reacts. If he is indeed a really great guy, and if the restaurant is nice enough, he probably won’t freak out on the spot. If he says, “But I want to be the father of your baby!” you’ve got options. If he says, “I’ve never wanted children,” you’ve cut to the chase. If he says, “Tell me more,” you can both move forward—or not—with full knowledge.

Best case, he’ll respect the difficulty of your decision, the agony of your admission, and the generosity of your spirit, and you’ll both have my admiration. Or you can put it off until you and R.G.G. are on Maury Povich’s couch, trembling and weeping as he rips open the envelope. The choice is yours. But if you choose the latter, be sure to let me know so I can set my TiVo.