The Beginner’s Guide to Massage

by Sarika Dani

Sure, a great rubdown can put anyone in the mood—but if getting your partner’s kinks out is always about seduction, you’re missing out on a powerful bonding experience.

By exploring each other’s needs through the selfless act of massage, you can learn how to make each other melt, physically and emotionally.

“Massage is about giving and receiving,” explains Dr. Deborah Musso, director and founder of Sea Change New York, a Manhattan wellness center. “With massage you gain a whole new understanding of how to create intimacy: Set a sacred space, let go of tension, and go from a state of defense to a place that’s safe.”

Gordon Inkeles, author of The New Sensual Massage and other books on the subject, urges couples to “rediscover the tactile possibilities” of the body, since most people reserve touching for the so-called “erogenous zones”—only five percent of the available territory.

Inkeles points to the ultra-sensitive scalp and feet as sensually deprived areas. He also suggests focusing on the areas that hold the most tension: For men, that’s the lower back, and for women, the neck and shoulders.