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S&M For Beginners
S&M pracitioners tend to be highly educated and other facts you may not know.
by Ky Henderson
Even if you’re not sure what S&M actually entails, the letters alone probably conjure up vivid images: Whips and chains, leather and latex, a tubby guy named The Gimp tugging on his leash as he hungrily eyes Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction. It’s common to assume that sadism-and-masochism enthusiasts are at best unusual or shocking and at worst downright depraved. But are they really?
Well, The Gimp certainly is—living in a locked crate in the basement of a pawnshop will do that to you. And anecdotal evidence does suggest that S&M enthusiasts differ from”normal” people in two ways: They have higher levels of education and tend to be very creative.
S&M is also more common than you probably think; experts estimate one in five couples dabble, and one in 20 engage in very serious play.
“Couples enjoy S&M in part because it lets them explore new roles and visit different places with each other,” says Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Naughty Tricks & Sexy Tips: A Couple’s Guide to Uninhibited Erotic Pleasure. “Pushing the boundaries as far as you want can be an exhilarating release from the routine.”
It also can solidify a strong foundation of trust and honest. And if you think you have little interest in S&M yourself, take a closer look at your sex life. Pinning your partner’s wrists against the bed, tugging on hair, or biting a shoulder are simply milder ways of expressing desires that eventually lead some people to devote closet space to studded leather.
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1 S&M Dude Claims Religious Freedom // Apr 11, 2008 at 10:05 am
[…] freedom. A previous court rejected his petition to get the license on account of his practice of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism which should probably be […]
2 Mark Snow // Mar 6, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Love bondage! Get at me!
3 Thomas // Mar 4, 2008 at 10:32 pm
I’m new to Perfectmatch.com. I was surprised and delighted to see this topic come up under the Tangomag.com link. However, using the generic “S&M” is kind of misleading in that its use tends to lump hardcore S&M with B&D/D&S. My take on all this is what I call “love bondage and discipline” which involves lots of imaginative and creative sophisticated bondage (ala the style of bondagecafe.com), and “pleasure spankings” (or whippings and floggings) — where the emphasis is on sensual pleasure, intimacy, fun, playful erotic humiliation, affection, and extended foreplay — but NEVER bruising, drawing blood from, demeaning, or degrading my partner, which is characteristic of true S&M by definition. Is anyone else on the same page? Just curious.
4 Study: Link Between Spanking & Risky Sex // Mar 3, 2008 at 9:39 am
[…] So, Straus is pretty much against corporal punishment, it appears. This is a pretty good way to go about convincing people to stop with the spanking. No one wants a kid that’s into weird sex stuff. Straus clearly has an agenda and that agenda is to use psychological punishment more frequently in the child-rearing process. Spare the rod and fool the child. And if you’re looking to get into S&M (irrespective of your spanking background), check out our Beginner’s Guide. […]
5 sub1 // Feb 9, 2008 at 8:18 am
Speaking of riding crops, bridles, stirrups etc. Spurs can get dangerous. But no bridle outfit is complete without a butt plug with a tail attached. It certainly makes my sunday house cleaning chores much more interesting and enjoyable. Even more so if my husband has like minded friends over for sunday football. He uses a quirt for recreational use. The riding crop is saved for serious business.
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