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S&M For Beginners
S&M pracitioners tend to be highly educated and other facts you may not know.
by Ky Henderson
Even if you’re not sure what S&M actually entails, the letters alone probably conjure up vivid images: Whips and chains, leather and latex, a tubby guy named The Gimp tugging on his leash as he hungrily eyes Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction. It’s common to assume that sadism-and-masochism enthusiasts are at best unusual or shocking and at worst downright depraved. But are they really?
Well, The Gimp certainly is—living in a locked crate in the basement of a pawnshop will do that to you. And anecdotal evidence does suggest that S&M enthusiasts differ from”normal” people in two ways: They have higher levels of education and tend to be very creative.
S&M is also more common than you probably think; experts estimate one in five couples dabble, and one in 20 engage in very serious play.
“Couples enjoy S&M in part because it lets them explore new roles and visit different places with each other,” says Dr. Pam Spurr, author of Naughty Tricks & Sexy Tips: A Couple’s Guide to Uninhibited Erotic Pleasure. “Pushing the boundaries as far as you want can be an exhilarating release from the routine.”
It also can solidify a strong foundation of trust and honest. And if you think you have little interest in S&M yourself, take a closer look at your sex life. Pinning your partner’s wrists against the bed, tugging on hair, or biting a shoulder are simply milder ways of expressing desires that eventually lead some people to devote closet space to studded leather.
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1 Squirt // Nov 13, 2008 at 1:08 am
TOPS AND BOTTOMS! Step right up and get your bondage gear, whips and restraints at tabutoys dot com. Love may hurt but your checkbook doesn’t have to!
2 ellen // Oct 10, 2008 at 10:45 pm
yes thomas i totally agree with you
3 ELLEN RIMER // Oct 10, 2008 at 10:36 pm
wow…i just read that article….i recntly met a man from overseas & he has alot more experience than i do…we’re supposed to meet in the summer and i can’t wait to see what he has in store 4 me…though we discuss in great lenght….i will be pushed to my extreme.
4 PsychoLogic // Aug 19, 2008 at 7:01 pm
For those curious about power exchange I interviewed a number of people at Shibaricon this spring in Chicago. Some interesting distinctions:
* Top/bottom: Gives/receives restraint, directions, usually physically.
* Dom/Domme(dominant)/sub(submissive): Gives/receives directions, takes/yields control, usually emotionally.
* Sadist/masochist: Gives/receives pain and punishment.
I was surprised to learn that power and pain and compliance were all on different scales, so you could have a non-submissive bottom (feisty) who enjoys being restrained but resists and fights back.
For a lot of people the scene is sexually arousing but not strictly gratifying, i.e. there is no orgasm at the end. It’s like a playground for grown-ups.
5 S&M Dude Claims Religious Freedom // Apr 11, 2008 at 10:05 am
[…] freedom. A previous court rejected his petition to get the license on account of his practice of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism which should probably be […]
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