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S&M For Beginners
S&M pracitioners tend to be highly educated and other facts you may not know.
by Ky Henderson
There’s also an outreach program for law and psychology students and police officers, to help them differentiate between consensual and criminal sex. Of course, when cops need assistance sorting out sexual practice from crime, bringing up that practice with your partner can be more than a little daunting.
Paula Myers was lucky enough to find an entrée in casual conversation when her boyfriend told her she needed a spanking for being grumpy. “That really got me excited,” says Paula, a 40-year-old from Seattle. A few weeks latheer, when he offered to give her a back rub, “I told him what I really wanted was for him to spank me, and not stop even if I asked him to.”
That Christmas, without prior discussion, she bought him a flogger, and he bought her a paddle. (Paging Mr. O. Henry…)
One way to take the pressure off is to let a movie introduce the subject. With the relatively low-impact play in 9 1/2 Weeks or the more involved kinkiness in Secretary, you can broach your desires by first discussing the action on screen.
Point out what you think is sexy, then gauge the response. “Drop hints whenever the chance arises, ” Spurr suggests. “Ask your partner to let you tie his tie, then mention it’d be fun to put it to another use sometime.”
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1 ellen // Oct 10, 2008 at 10:45 pm
yes thomas i totally agree with you
2 ELLEN RIMER // Oct 10, 2008 at 10:36 pm
wow…i just read that article….i recntly met a man from overseas & he has alot more experience than i do…we’re supposed to meet in the summer and i can’t wait to see what he has in store 4 me…though we discuss in great lenght….i will be pushed to my extreme.
3 PsychoLogic // Aug 19, 2008 at 7:01 pm
For those curious about power exchange I interviewed a number of people at Shibaricon this spring in Chicago. Some interesting distinctions:
* Top/bottom: Gives/receives restraint, directions, usually physically.
* Dom/Domme(dominant)/sub(submissive): Gives/receives directions, takes/yields control, usually emotionally.
* Sadist/masochist: Gives/receives pain and punishment.
I was surprised to learn that power and pain and compliance were all on different scales, so you could have a non-submissive bottom (feisty) who enjoys being restrained but resists and fights back.
For a lot of people the scene is sexually arousing but not strictly gratifying, i.e. there is no orgasm at the end. It’s like a playground for grown-ups.
4 S&M Dude Claims Religious Freedom // Apr 11, 2008 at 10:05 am
[…] freedom. A previous court rejected his petition to get the license on account of his practice of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism which should probably be […]
5 Mark Snow // Mar 6, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Love bondage! Get at me!
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