When’s the Best Time to Start a Family?

by Jill Johnson

We think the biological clock is unique to women and that men hear it second-hand, via gentle prodding or violent arm-twisting—and some, due to the volume on their televisions, never hear it at all.

Is it true that most guys are seeking another decade of bar-hopping and deafening Pay-Per-View while their mates are shopping for ovulation predictor kits? In my case, I was ready; he wasn’t.

I was a month shy of 28 when I met Ben, my future spouse; he was 24. Early on we both glimpsed marriage and kids down the road, but how long was the road? On his map it was long enough to get settled into a career, save a nest egg, and watch The Matrix 500 more times. This meant engaged after two years, married a year later, and kids when the jabbing of my elbow in his side became too much to bear.

I wanted three kids and figured my career could wait; I suspected my eggs couldn’t. We took his route, started trying eight months after we were married, and had a baby boy more than two years later—with the help of fertility treatment.

Kara and Peter Thornton* are in the reverse situation. Before they married—when she was 25 and he was 31—they discussed having kids once Kara reached her late twenties. “Now I’m 28, but I don’t feel ready,” says Kara. “He’s really pushing for kids, but I want to develop my career, travel, have fun. Most of my friends are single; his are all having kids.”