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The Joy of the Quickie
The benefits of a fast one.
by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.
If your lover took you out to the city’s finest restaurant night after night, wouldn’t you soon be craving burritos and beans at your local Mexican place?
Sure you would, and this ennui with routine is true for sex as well. Romantic, meaningful sex is wonderful—but sometimes it just seems like a lot of work.
Consider this probably not unfamiliar situation: You are horny, but you don’t have the time (or desire) for a prolonged love-making session. You just have an itch you’d like your lover to scratch, then you’d like to get back to your spreadsheet…This is the moment for a quickie.
You mean no disrespect or lack of love for your partner, but this isn’t about love—it’s about lust. Wonderful, old-fashioned, heat-seeking lust. It’s not that anyone would do. No, this is about the pleasure you can get from, and the desire you can have for, the person you are with.
A quickie full of animal need and immediate gratification is a part of being alive and vibrant together. If you feel insulted because your partner wants you this way—or embarrassed that you just want something closer to what Erica Jong called the “zipless fuck”—you haven’t understood that a quickie is a form of intimacy. It is giving intense, sudden sexual access without asking for motivation or justification.
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1 Perfect AK 10 // Oct 2, 2008 at 5:56 pm
WoW!!! Quickies are great! I love the time well spent in love making but sometimes I just want to be ravished and lusted for, the groping, and
2 The Needle // Jul 27, 2008 at 10:12 pm
What makes the quickie work is the aftermath. If you “go back to your spreadsheet,” as the article mentions, your partner’s going to feel used. If, on the other hand, you spend a good long while telling her that she’s beautiful and that you did that becuase she’s just so goddamn sexy you couldn’t control yourself, it works ofr both of you.
3 Study: Quick Sex Is Best // Mar 6, 2008 at 3:09 pm
[…] is rotten in the state of Denmark. Isn’t the quickie something to be enjoyed because it is a break from the usual big show? It’s like the lightning round is exciting because […]
4 5 Things I Wish I Knew About Sex at 30 // Feb 12, 2008 at 10:12 am
[…] to be whipped up into a fine froth instead of demanding so much passion right at the start. Quickies and immediate penetration can be sexy as hell, but it usually means that you stay in the foothills instead of reaching the higher […]
5 Aristedes DuVal // Feb 11, 2008 at 11:46 am
I for one , LoVE a Quickie. Hippie Valentine’s Day to Y’all!
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