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The Joy of the Quickie
The benefits of a fast one.
by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.
I know this sounds more like a male rationalization than a female fantasy. And plenty of women are put off by a partner’s request for passionate sex without romantic foreplay.
But I have interviewed a number of wives and girlfriends who say more or less the same thing: “Sometimes I don’t want the music, the flowers, the words, the tender tracing of my body. Sometimes I simply want to be tackled when I am coming through the door, and made to feel insanely desirable.”
Quick doesn’t necessarily mean second best. We don’t dislike the sandwich because it is not chicken Piccata. Au contraire—we sometimes choose the sandwich over more elegant competition precisely because, in its own humble way, it is satisfying and special.
Of course the sandwich has no say in the matter, and a partner does. This is why communication makes all the difference. A woman can enjoy a quickie as much as a man if she is turned on and therefore “ready.”
As one told me recently, “He thinks I don’t want quickies, but he’s wrong. Sometimes I feel as irrationally randy as he does. I just have to be in the right mood, and I need to know he is being sexy, not pushy.”
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1 Perfect AK 10 // Oct 2, 2008 at 5:56 pm
WoW!!! Quickies are great! I love the time well spent in love making but sometimes I just want to be ravished and lusted for, the groping, and
2 The Needle // Jul 27, 2008 at 10:12 pm
What makes the quickie work is the aftermath. If you “go back to your spreadsheet,” as the article mentions, your partner’s going to feel used. If, on the other hand, you spend a good long while telling her that she’s beautiful and that you did that becuase she’s just so goddamn sexy you couldn’t control yourself, it works ofr both of you.
3 Study: Quick Sex Is Best // Mar 6, 2008 at 3:09 pm
[…] is rotten in the state of Denmark. Isn’t the quickie something to be enjoyed because it is a break from the usual big show? It’s like the lightning round is exciting because […]
4 5 Things I Wish I Knew About Sex at 30 // Feb 12, 2008 at 10:12 am
[…] to be whipped up into a fine froth instead of demanding so much passion right at the start. Quickies and immediate penetration can be sexy as hell, but it usually means that you stay in the foothills instead of reaching the higher […]
5 Aristedes DuVal // Feb 11, 2008 at 11:46 am
I for one , LoVE a Quickie. Hippie Valentine’s Day to Y’all!
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