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The Joy of the Quickie
The benefits of a fast one.
by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.
A code phrase that each person understands can set the stage immediately. For example, “I want you–now!” or “Take me” can be the signal for playful, intense sex.
Clients say that as long as they negotiate what conduct is welcome between them, it is perfectly all right for one person to grab the other and start stripping off clothes. (Although someone has to tell men that tearing off an expensive blouse is not a turn-on!)
The eroticism of surprise–a reminder of the full force of your lover’s need and desire–can be a powerful tool. Granted, you wouldn’t want a diet of nothing but sandwiches or a sex life that was continually Wham, bam, thank you Fran/Sam. But as an additional spice, the quickie can be part of every creative lover’s cookbook.
Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., is a therapist and professor of sociology at the
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1 Perfect AK 10 // Oct 2, 2008 at 5:56 pm
WoW!!! Quickies are great! I love the time well spent in love making but sometimes I just want to be ravished and lusted for, the groping, and
2 The Needle // Jul 27, 2008 at 10:12 pm
What makes the quickie work is the aftermath. If you “go back to your spreadsheet,” as the article mentions, your partner’s going to feel used. If, on the other hand, you spend a good long while telling her that she’s beautiful and that you did that becuase she’s just so goddamn sexy you couldn’t control yourself, it works ofr both of you.
3 Study: Quick Sex Is Best // Mar 6, 2008 at 3:09 pm
[…] is rotten in the state of Denmark. Isn’t the quickie something to be enjoyed because it is a break from the usual big show? It’s like the lightning round is exciting because […]
4 5 Things I Wish I Knew About Sex at 30 // Feb 12, 2008 at 10:12 am
[…] to be whipped up into a fine froth instead of demanding so much passion right at the start. Quickies and immediate penetration can be sexy as hell, but it usually means that you stay in the foothills instead of reaching the higher […]
5 Aristedes DuVal // Feb 11, 2008 at 11:46 am
I for one , LoVE a Quickie. Hippie Valentine’s Day to Y’all!
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