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What’s Your Infidelity IQ? Find Out Now
A 20-question quiz reveals if you're a cheater-in-waiting
by Pat Love, Ed.D.
Quizzes are fun, but what do they really tell you? This one reveals the dangers to which many of us subject our primary love relationships—and the denial that goes with the territory. It was created by Pat Love, the noted sex and relationship expert and co-author of Hot Monogamy and The Truth About Love. Take it together or separately. Dare to discuss. And read what Pat has learned from the couples she’s seen.
Pat, how did you create this quiz?
I developed it from research and clinical observation over 25 years of couples work. Building on Salvador Minuchin’s model of structural family therapy, which delineated subgroups within the family (e.g., spousal, parental, sibling), I assigned roles, rules, and functions to each of the subgroups. The spousal unit consists of two adults meeting their adult needs, both physical and emotional.
How do you use it?
The purpose is to get individuals to identify for each other the expectations of the contract of the relationship. It’s easy to assume that your partner has the same expectations as you. The quiz has a high “squirm factor,” meaning that I might think it’s OK to have private, ongoing conversations with an attractive guy, but I sure don’t want my partner doing the same with an attractive woman.
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1 How To Make Long-Distance Love Work // Jul 25, 2008 at 6:06 pm
[…] are identical to their geographically close counterparts. LDR couples might worry more about infidelity, but they don’t actually cheat more. Post Comment 1 2 3 4 5 >> […]
2 an // May 17, 2008 at 10:35 pm
You are an idiot Rio. Having sex with someone else is not being loyal to your partner! As much as most men fantasize about threesomes, if in a serious relationship it is better left to fantasy. Why would your ex pick an attractive women to have a threesome with you?? Use your brain genuis. The article is right, if you are attracted to someone, you should keep away from him/her. And spending intimate moments, even if they are only conversations, is getting involved with someone emotionally and drains your actual relationship. It just is not fair. If you are uncertain about your relationship, don’t drag the other person around. Do them a favor and let them know how you feel.
3 Rio // Mar 18, 2008 at 10:50 am
None of this means anything. It is the total loyality that counts. That also means being able to allow the other attractive to very attractive friends. One ex I had did the opposite she did want the excitement of threesomes but she chose unattractive women. I came to resent this as a slight on me and what she thought