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When He Doesn’t Want Kids (and You Do)
Advice for a woman who is madly in love with but very different from her man.
by Susan King
Over the past two years, my boyfriend and I have fallen passionately in love. We are best friends. Our physical chemistry is great. We have interests, hobbies, and friends in common. I have always been faithful, as has he. The problem is that we don’t agree on what the future looks like.
He’s a 35-year-old divorced father of two girls, with visitation rights. He has communicated from the day we met that there are several constants in his life: He will never move from the town where we live now; he will never leave his job as a commercial airline pilot, which includes 12-20 days of travel each month; and he will not have any more children.
I am a 29-year-old professional. The only constants in my life are that I thrive on change–I tend to move every two years or so–and that I want a husband, and children of my own. I do not love my work and am constantly searching for my “calling.” My ideal partner would explore with me.
We know that these are big differences in what we want for our future, and because of that, we’ve tried to end the relationship four times. But we always reunite within weeks, and neither of us can envision being happy without the other person. He recently asked me to marry him. At this point, I honestly don’t know if I’m meant to stay or go.
-A.S.,
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1 augustina oduh // Mar 14, 2008 at 7:42 am
I advise you stay away from the relatioship beacuse the man already have his own children and have none yet
2 Stop Settling for So-So Sex! // Feb 20, 2008 at 12:57 pm
[…] that’s a little heavy on the Limp Bizkit. But others are critical indicators of compatibility: he doesn’t want kids and you do. Or his deeply held religious convictions don’t mesh with your […]
3 D // Feb 18, 2008 at 2:04 am
Or you could just change him. That seems to be the popular answer…
4 Louiza // Jul 15, 2006 at 9:48 am
I believe, that both will always crave each other for therest of their lives.
Poor spouses to be. There will moments when their faraway look(s) will be more than obvious to their future spouses/partners. This is life.
5 Anonymous // Feb 18, 2006 at 8:12 am
I enjoy reading the column, Suzi is an incredibly wise advise giver.