What Your Closet Says About You

One woman's dating history is mapped in her closet.

by Katrina Heron

WomanThis is a story about a dysfunctional relationship. It was between me and my bedroom closet, and I know you know what I’m talking about.

The closet was full and I was empty. Every time I opened the door, I encountered someone I no longer cared about, an outgrown, repetitive personality. Like most of us, I had the requisite work stuff in there, which fell into the category of more (summer wool suit) or less (brocade sheath) mandatory and was therefore defensible in some way.

But the play clothes, the rows and piles of stuff that I relied on to reflect my true self-image, were just dead wrong. Minimalist, hard-edged, and appropriate mingled awkwardly with colors and patterns from sprees of unquiet desperation. And for every piece that was wrong, I seemed to have three more just like it (think gray cardigans) embalmed in dry-cleaner plastic.

I couldn’t have told you any of this, of course. Like most dysfunctional relationships, this one had a lot of staying power, and I could bring to it an endless stream of rationalizations: You can’t have enough gray. Or black. There is nothing criminal about linen, and no reason to knock the ankle-length silk floral dress that’s been trotted out for the last three weddings. Clothes are not that important. I might wear that again. I’m no longer 20, for God’s sake. That weird Dutch thing seemed cool at the time. Is that leather?

When my wardrobe really got to me, I would linger over the closet-organizer ads—the hanger equivalent of romantic getaway fantasies—thinking all I really needed was an intervention, something to get us back on track, to renew the spark that must still be there.

 
 
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11 responses so far
  • 1 Seven Weeks Away from Mr. Right? // Feb 27, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    […] to dredging up your past wounds in order to get over them, and she equates the CITO process with cleaning out your closet—after all, there isn’t room for new stuff until you toss out the old. Post Comment 1 2 3 4 […]

  • 2 T // Jan 6, 2007 at 2:36 am

    You just described the last year or two of my life. Everything in my closet was black and my rolls were plenty. When I realized that my marriage was over, I was freed in a sense that I could justify paying attention to myself as a woman - not just a wife and mother. I lost weight because I was happy. Suddenly, I was buying cute nighties to wear - even though no one saw me in them. I started borrowing clothes from my teenage daughters’ closet and now shop in the Juniors section. My closet is full - I hate to get rid of anything! But the section of cute and fashionable outfits is what I frequent - and is what makes me feel flirty and feminine again. It’s so nice to have these additions to complement my newly-found self!

  • 3 Toni // Jan 6, 2007 at 2:36 am

    You just described the last year or two of my life. Everything in my closet was black and my rolls were plenty. When I realized that my marriage was over, I was freed in a sense that I could justify paying attention to myself as a woman - not just a wife and mother. I lost weight because I was happy. Suddenly, I was buying cute nighties to wear - even though no one saw me in them. I started borrowing clothes from my teenage daughters’ closet and now shop in the Juniors section. My closet is full - I hate to get rid of anything! But the section of cute and fashionable outfits is what I frequent - and is what makes me feel flirty and feminine again. It’s so nice to have these additions to complement my newly-found self!

  • 4 khalid // Nov 2, 2006 at 5:27 pm

    sex

  • 5 Noelia // Oct 6, 2006 at 1:13 pm

    Excellent! Loved the article and totallly relate to it. I recently lost 50 lbs. have worked-out for 6 mos. and my closet has gone from prissy to pure sexy. I enjoy being a woman and I finally enjoy my sexuality.

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