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Infusing Fantasy into Your Sex Life
Act out fantasies together, as imagination enhances our sex lives.
by Ky Henderson
In fact, there are women who can achieve orgasm merely by conjuring that philanthropist/mailman/pool boy/plumber in their heads. (Seriously. And they’re being studied.) Even if you’re not blessed with that ability, research has shown that women’s orgasms are in some ways more tied to mental gymnastics than to anything that’s happening in the physical world.
“In women, the vast majority of sex is going on in their minds,” explains Dr. Anita H. Clayton, a professor in the Department of Psychiatric Medicine at the University of Virginia and author of an upcoming book about the relationship between sex and the psyche. “So we can be easily distracted or shift into another set of feelings very quickly.”
Fantasizing is clearly an important component to any sex life. So it’s equally important that you get over any concerns you may have that a tendency to fantasize means there’s something missing in reality.
“People always wonder if it’s OK to fantasize about someone other than their partner,” says Cory Silverberg, a sex educator and “sexuality guide” for About.com. “Well, of course it is—fantasy isn’t the same as real life. Besides, if you squelch your fantasies, you’ll just create problems. So fantasize about having sex with a thousand different people if you want. Just don’t actually have sex with them.”
Perhaps that warning is relevant if you’re a willowy blonde hotel heiress. For everyone else, the biggest fantasy dilemma is figuring out what to do with the fantasies themselves.
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5 Lucretia // Oct 28, 2006 at 4:30 pm
I just want to say that i am a normal person but sometimes i wonder if something is wrong with me.I visited your site today to find answers and i believe i did.I fantasize of making love to alot of different men while making love with my boyfriend.I will take your advice and keep it my little secret.
Read All 8 Comments on Infusing Fantasy into Your Sex Life