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Inner Beauty: What Men Don’t Tell You
The guy's perspective on the elusive concept of "inner beauty."
by Ky Henderson
There was this girl who sat behind me in third grade. She had unruly blonde hair that hung down to her shoulders, steady green eyes, and tiny teeth, and I thought she was beautiful.
During class, I’d dream up excuses to turn around and look at her. When she was out sick for two weeks during that year’s typically cruel Wisconsin winter, I ran to school each morning anticipating her return. And while my classmates rejoiced on the last day before summer vacation, I began counting the many weeks we’d be separated. But when we all wandered into our stale classroom the following September, I saw to my dismay that the girl had changed. Her hair had been cropped like a Marine’s, she’d gained weight, and she was wearing glasses so ugly her parents deserved jail time. In short, I no longer found her beautiful, and therefore no longer had any interest in throwing things at her during recess.
This troubled me. Everyone from my mother to Mr. Rogers had articulated some version of “beauty is only skin-deep.” What really mattered, they said, was inner beauty.
I knew there was more than an ounce of truth to that—far be it from me to argue with Mr. Rogers—but inner beauty? Did that mean a cute spleen? Tying my shoes was a major accomplishment, long division seemed a near impossibility, and complex social interaction consisted of a game of tag. So the concept of inner beauty was tough to comprehend.
It didn’t get any easier. As a young editor at a popular men’s magazine, it was my job to find “normal” women for photo spreads—people who weren’t celebrities or models, but who looked like them and didn’t mind millions of guys ogling them in their underwear.
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1 beautiful_inside_n_out // May 30, 2008 at 5:38 am
One way to understand what “Inner beauty” means is to try falling in love with a super good looking model only to find out she has a very evil attitude (she thinks highly of herself being to proud and know-it-all-type, speaks bad about others, lies and fool around with other men. This and try falling inlove with someone with an physical beauty that is not your type only knowing that she is very kind, humble,willing to love you in your ups and downs, understanding, true and real to herself, have good relationship with other people, faithful, and God-fearing. Maybe by that you will know what beauty means. But of course, it would depend on the person on what beauty means to himself. In a nutshell though, external beauty is what that fades thru time, and internal is what lasts.
2 Lyss // Apr 11, 2008 at 4:19 pm
External beauty catches the eyes & lures for lasviciousness only during one’s prime. Internal beauty defines character and is interminable. It’s agreeable that blatant beauty is external, but when given a second one will realize it’s internal. Men who seek mere external beauty will treat women like object; like a child, he’ll play with the new toy but throws it when it gets old & when a nicer and newer invention comes out. It would be more prudent for a man to attract himself to a woman by her irresistable beauty while at the same time consider her internal beauty to define definite beauty. I’d prefer that.
3 tv // Apr 11, 2008 at 2:21 pm
“But beauty is tangible, beauty is sensory, and beauty is external.” I really feel sorry for those who have this ideal set in stone. There are so many personality traits that can make an ugly person beautiful and a beautiful person ugly. I find the line of thought of this author to be incredibly shallow and childish. By the way, I’m not ugly so this is coming from someone who DOES get oogled.
4 Zeigy // Apr 11, 2008 at 1:20 pm
I’ve tried liking ugly chicks but I can’t. I feel somewhat guilty for being partial to good looking babes and it’s made me resent them. Now I feel no special emotions or feelings towards either class. I just ignore my natural drives and don’t pursue women. I still flirt but even when I get signals I don’t take the relationship very far.
5 Karen Rose // Apr 8, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Was this article supposed to contain a revelation? I’ve known this since I was an average-looking teenage girl. There are no surprises here — except for those who have really been kidding themselves.
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