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Anal Sex For Beginners
An estimated one-fourth of straight couples have had anal sex. How-to advice.
by Ky Henderson
Despite that (or perhaps because of it), the idea of anal sex is often a turn-on. Men like the promise of tightness and friction, and both partners can appreciate the allure of unique physical sensations coupled with domination/submission. Think those qualities make it deviant?
Maybe so, but they also make it intensely intimate. As porn star Jenna Jameson wrote of anal sex in her 2004 autobiography, “I’ve only given that up to three men, all of whom I really loved. Doing it on camera would be compromising myself.”
There’s no “right” way to begin exploring, but it’s probably wise to start with something less ambitious than a penis. Richard and Lola* had been together for four months when he put his hand on her butt during sex. “I realized I really wanted to put my finger in her ass, but I was hesitant because we’d never done that before,” says Richard, a 34-year-old physicist in San Francisco. “Without a word, she grabbed my hand and put it there for me. It was amazing.”
Later, in the middle of particularly intense sex, an overzealous Richard aimed himself a bit too far south. He realized his mistake and pulled away, but Lola pulled him back. They proceeded to have first-time, undiscussed anal sex without lube—and loved it.
“I’ve since discovered that’s not a good way to do it,” says Lola, 32, a lawyer. “But that night I had the most powerful orgasm of my life. It’s one of the hottest things you can do, but you definitely have to be in the mood. Someone can’t just spring it on you.”
*Names in this story have been changed.
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1 Carly Morrell // Nov 19, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Me and my boyfriend just started trying anal sex, ( so good). We are both virgins so no STDs or anything, is it necessary to wear a condomn or should we basically not bother?
2 Jim // Oct 22, 2008 at 7:11 pm
yes, i enjoy anal sex very much, in the past my mother has taught me how to do it and it has come very much in handy recently when me and my girlfriend sky angel did it for the first time
3 asdf // Sep 25, 2008 at 4:17 am
I’m a guy and I have played around with my share of girls. Anal for me does not feel physically as good as vaginal. It is a lot hotter though.
There seems to be two main reasons why guys insist on anal, the right way and the wrong way.
The right way is the guy and the girl are pervs and just love the feelings that come along with it. I like to think of myself as a perv. A woman begging to be fucked in the ass is about the hottest thing on the planet to me.
The wrong way is to be a dick and a woman hater and get off on dominating or punishing women via anal sex. Judging from the responses there are still a few too many of these types out there.
Obviously you need to be safe, use lube, have a little patience and use a condom (even in monogamous relationships, you don’t want a urinary infection).
As for all the negative nancies in here spreading fear, uncertainty and doubt about anal sex, I have to thank them in a way because without their tireless bible thumping it wouldn’t be so dirty and sexy.
4 smoke // Sep 24, 2008 at 10:46 am
ANAL SEX….UMMMMM….well lets just say I couldn’t live without it. It such a different type of orgasm and as long as you know how to properly maintain yourself it’s not dirty in the least bit. I can’t stand to see comments made by small minded people who’ve never even given it a try. I bet they’re scared they just might like it.
5 Kenny // Sep 18, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Anal sex is a fantasy of many women… even the most innocent!
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