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Anal Sex For Beginners
An estimated one-fourth of straight couples have had anal sex. How-to advice.
by Ky Henderson
Despite that (or perhaps because of it), the idea of anal sex is often a turn-on. Men like the promise of tightness and friction, and both partners can appreciate the allure of unique physical sensations coupled with domination/submission. Think those qualities make it deviant?
Maybe so, but they also make it intensely intimate. As porn star Jenna Jameson wrote of anal sex in her 2004 autobiography, “I’ve only given that up to three men, all of whom I really loved. Doing it on camera would be compromising myself.”
There’s no “right” way to begin exploring, but it’s probably wise to start with something less ambitious than a penis. Richard and Lola* had been together for four months when he put his hand on her butt during sex. “I realized I really wanted to put my finger in her ass, but I was hesitant because we’d never done that before,” says Richard, a 34-year-old physicist in San Francisco. “Without a word, she grabbed my hand and put it there for me. It was amazing.”
Later, in the middle of particularly intense sex, an overzealous Richard aimed himself a bit too far south. He realized his mistake and pulled away, but Lola pulled him back. They proceeded to have first-time, undiscussed anal sex without lube—and loved it.
“I’ve since discovered that’s not a good way to do it,” says Lola, 32, a lawyer. “But that night I had the most powerful orgasm of my life. It’s one of the hottest things you can do, but you definitely have to be in the mood. Someone can’t just spring it on you.”
*Names in this story have been changed.
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1 dagz // Jan 2, 2009 at 6:37 pm
anal sex is cool i know galz who would’nt have it any otherway and they love it orally, and from penitration most galz “at first prob wont like the idea” but it’s pleasureable for both. if u try and are patient & openminded
2 sarah rines // Dec 14, 2008 at 8:01 am
I’m 18 and my boyfriend has been trying to have anal sex with me for awhile.i’ve just heard it hurts.Does it take alot of time before it doesnt hurt?
3 Afshin Djeyfroudi // Dec 13, 2008 at 2:19 am
I am a 38 married white male. My wife will have nothing to do with anal sex, I havn’t tried but really want to.
4 Angel // Nov 22, 2008 at 2:44 am
sodomites is sin, just read 1 Timothy 1: 9-10..and the wage of sin is DEATH..that’s all I can say…beside there are million ways to enjoy sex why bother to choose this one.
5 Carly Morrell // Nov 19, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Me and my boyfriend just started trying anal sex, ( so good). We are both virgins so no STDs or anything, is it necessary to wear a condomn or should we basically not bother?
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