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12 Relationship Red Flags
Is he the one? Dating dealbreakers you shouldn't ignore.
by Michael Shnayerson
Not long ago, I met a very attractive single mother of two at a dinner party in Sag Harbor, New York. We were seated next to each other—a “soft” setup—and by dessert, we were punctuating our stories with little touches: her hand on my forearm, mine on hers. Good signs.
Then the first of her two children, a boy of about ten, descended from an upstairs TV room. In each hand he clutched an action figure. This in itself was not disconcerting. It was the way he slammed the action figures into each other, his upper lip curled in a sneer, that gave me pause—that, and the adoring look his mother chose to bestow on him as he did.
Still, D—, the boy’s mother, was definitely worth a follow-up. A few days later, I drove over to the waterfront inn where she had encamped with her children for a brief summer vacation. The plan was a swim in the inn’s pool, then lunch at a nearby restaurant: a little ersatz family outing. D— ushered me into her room and announced the obvious fact of my arrival to her children.
Neither the boy nor his sister, two years older, looked over from the droning television. Not a word emanated from either one’s lips. D— told them to turn off the television and change into their swimsuits. They ignored her. So D— pretended she hadn’t asked them, and went into the bedroom to change. Only when the grownups started to leave did the children drag themselves, sluglike, behind us.
The swim was bad enough, with both children glowering at the grownups from their pool chairs. But lunch was worse. No sooner had the waiter taken our order than the girl seized one of the action figures from her brother’s fist and threw it across the restaurant. The boy screamed in outrage, hit his sister with the other action figure, then ran over to get the first one so he could hit her with that, too. As the sister returned fire with her fists, I turned to see what D— would do. “Now, come on, children,” she said gently, lovingly, pleadingly. “Now, come on … .”
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1 Roxie // Nov 2, 2008 at 2:39 am
*you professed to know
2 Roxie // Nov 2, 2008 at 2:38 am
Implying that freelance writers are not successful financially when compared to financially successful business people is wrong. Speak for yourself.
And agreed, the ketchup-on-eggs thing is ridiculous.
The problem with your article is that your professed to know “12 relationship red flags” as if they are THE 12 red flags. People take issue with you advising them and then giving personal, tongue-in-cheek tidbits like things related to eggs or family situations, things others might put up with or take no issue with at all.
News flash, red flags are personal. Maybe that was the point, but it wasn’t well-communicated.
That said, its good to know what breaks the deal or helps close the sale for you. Pardon the boardroom lingo.
3 Bobie Mai // Oct 21, 2008 at 10:43 pm
OMG You are a real jerk wad.
4 Brian // Oct 9, 2008 at 9:01 pm
First you spend the first whole page blabbing about yourself, then the rest of this long piece of garbage is completely narcissistic. Thanks for wasting my time. I registered at digg.com just to “bury” this article.
5 Tony // Oct 7, 2008 at 2:01 am
No splitting the tab? Even if the female is a CEO and the male is unemplyed? There’s so much wrong with your logic that I can’t even begin to fathom the working of your purile little brain.
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