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First Date Do’s and Don’t’s
The top 3 unusual (but awesome) first-date ideas
by Kristine Kern
Does anyone truly like to date? I mean, really get excited about sifting through potential candidates, sussing out neuroses, reading between the lines? I’m not talking about the thrill and anticipation you might feel the day you’re going out with someone new. I’m talking about the nitty-gritty research involved in finding someone who intrigues you. I suppose there are some people who enjoy the hunt. And others who are so confident (or delusional) that they don’t feel as if they’re opening themselves up to humiliation, pain, and suffering—along with sexual tension and the possibility of intense joy. But, by and large, I think, dating rates pretty far down the fun scale.
I should know. I’m one of the dating masses. And while I’m not so cynical as to say it sucks entirely, I would suggest that daters need all the help they can get. That’s why I have my own “panel of experts,” my team of go-to people. They tell me when not to call him, when not to believe him, when to cut him a break. They soothe me when I’m freaking out. And I can’t tell you how many times they’ve pushed me back into the fray.
Enter Dave Singleton, an author whose latest book is Behind Every Great Woman There’s a Fabulous Gay Man: Advice from a Guy Who Gives It to You Straight. He also wrote The Mandates: 25 Real Rules for Successful Gay Dating. Needless to say, Dave knows a thing or two about men—and he’s willing to share.
I’m an online dater, as I told Dave when we met for coffee. Some months I’ll have the time and energy to spend on dating sites, then I won’t even sign on again for weeks. After a romantic drought, though, I’ll usually get depressed and feel like I’ve gotta do something, and online dating is the most direct route to getting back in the game.
Dave’s answer to the burnout factor in online dating is the “step-up.” “You want to quickly meet to gauge chemistry,” he says. “After getting stuck for hours with a few losers, a girl learns to agree only to a coffee-screener, or some other ‘step-up’ date, before actually committing to an entire evening.” He’s right, in theory, but I’m so done with the coffee date. I don’t think I’ve ever felt sexy in a Starbucks. I use the phone to screen out losers.
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1 northeast guy // Sep 15, 2006 at 11:10 pm
think she should have talked to more than one person. I absolutely avoid movies for the first couple of dates. I prefer to meet for a drink first. You can always bail after the drink (and avoid paying for dinner for someone you’ll never see again) If things go well, you can move onto dinner. if things go really well, you’ll eventually be watching PLENTY of movies together anyway.
2 northeast // Sep 15, 2006 at 11:10 pm
think she should have talked to more than one person. I absolutely avoid movies for the first couple of dates. I prefer to meet for a drink first. You can always bail after the drink (and avoid paying for dinner for someone you’ll never see again) If things go well, you can move onto dinner. if things go really well, you’ll eventually be watching PLENTY of movies together anyway.
3 Aimee // Aug 2, 2006 at 11:19 am
Dinner, happy hour, or drinks and appetizers is really the best 1st date IMO. Unless you don’t drink, dinner works well, and doesn’t have to be fancy, but stick with food you BOTH like. Personally, I get nervous and jittery while drinking coffee, and that really doesn’t help me out! Know your liquors though….a glass of wine or 2 might ease the tension and set a nice mood. However, vodka gives me a load of energy, and I’m not sure if I want my date to see that much of my wild side on the 1st night!!! 26/F
4 A // Aug 2, 2006 at 11:18 am
Dinner, happy hour, or drinks and appetizers is really the best 1st date IMO. Unless you don’t drink, dinner works well, and doesn’t have to be fancy, but stick with food you BOTH like. Personally, I get nervous and jittery while drinking coffee, and that really doesn’t help me out! Know your liquors though….a glass of wine or 2 might ease the tension and set a nice mood. However, vodka gives me a load of energy, and I’m not sure if I want my date to see that much of my wild side on the 1st night!!! 26/F
5 Anonymous // Jul 24, 2006 at 4:00 am
Hello , I am new to Tango so please just consider this as my first day here.( LOL) Not really, In my opinoin we are to all to eager to catogorize things so they don’t get away from us. The best option available first ,last,(Anytime) do what makes you both happy what ever that may be. Wow simple do what makes you both happy.
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