by Holly Lebowitz Rossi

Remember Wendy? Uninvited to her boyfriend’s friend’s Shabbat dinner, she felt some trepidation at the prospect of meeting his parents for the first time—at their Passover Seder dinner. She got busy preparing, poring over an “interactive Seder plate” she found at Beliefnet.com the night before hopping on the plane.

And her pointing and clicking paid off. She felt relaxed and welcomed, she says, especially when Joe’s stepdad invited her into the kitchen to taste-test the charoset—an apple and walnut dish which symbolized the mortar Jewish slaves used in Egypt, Wendy now knew. And yet, “I wasn’t sure what symbolic mortar was supposed to
taste like!” she confesses. So she went on instinct.

“I think it needs more cinnamon,” she finally pronounced.

Joe’s stepdad nodded his approval. “That’s when I got a total case of the Passover warm fuzzies,” says Wendy. “By making me a part of the ritual, he had helped me belong.”

And that may be the secret to the interfaith recipe:
Make it up as you go—and question often—to be sure what you’re creating suits both of your tastes.