From LA Weekly
By Seven McDonald
IT’S A FRIDAY and "Carrie Berkowitz," a 30-something TV writer who’d prefer to hide her real identity, is sitting over a bowl of bouillabaisse and a glass of white wine musing about a recent development on her social landscape.
"It’s just weird to me," she says, sipping her wine. "The last time I gave someone a hand job to fruition was probably in high school, like listening to ‘White Lines’ and wearing braces. It’s creepy, it reminds me of, like, you accidentally ended up in a car with your teacher and you gave him a hand job."
Her friend "George," a 32-year-old musician visiting from London by way of N.Y., can’t remember the last time he had a hand job, but reminds us that he has been in a relationship for two and a half years and England is "very different." Even so, he does have his own theory on the subject: "Hand jobs should only really happen at weddings, on golf courses or in limousines." He might be on to something. "Karen Ross," Berkowitz’s 32-year-old best friend, says last summer she gave a guy a hand job at a wedding on a golf course.
Is the hand job resurgence a good thing? We think so. It’s relatively quick and not likely to spread venereal diseases. Most of the people interviewed in this article think of the HJ as a being a little infantilizing (that’s gross). But is that the vector we’re traveling on? Are we treating ourselves as children? Does a thirty-five year-old man need a MySpace page? Why is everyone crazy about cupcakes? Have you noticed that some upscale restaurants are carrying French fries (frites)? And ladies are removing pubic hair like it’s going out of style (which it probably is). Are we so obsessed with youth? Anyway, we’re pretty sure that the handy hasn’t gone anywhere. We would also like to take this opportunity to advocate the democratization of the term hand job. It should apply to men and women. Same with whacking off. Kudos to the author for coming up with the name “Carrie Berkowitz.” It’s one part Sex And The City and one part Son of Sam. And finally, we’re hoping that a Maya Rudolph character will be waiting in the casino parking lot to give groinal massages to completion at a reasonable price.