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Are You Financially Compatible?
Honesty about financial obligations can ensure a more secure bond.
by Abby Ellin
Chances are, you explored your feelings about children, debated the benefits of the suburbs versus the city, and figured out whether your sleeping habits jive with his.
But did you ask if he has a 401K or a big portfolio? (Or any portfolio, for that matter?) Does he think children should pay for their own education, or does he believe parents should help out? In short, are you financially compatible?
“There are a whole bunch of other things to worry about in a marriage, and you don’t want money to be one of them,” says Lynette Khalfani, author of The Money Coach’s Guide to Your First Million. “You really want to avoid the morning after surprise: ‘I had no idea you owed $35,000 worth of credit card bills!’ Or, ‘I knew you went to Stanford, but I had no clue you had $75,000 in loans!’ It’s good to know if you want the same things, or if you like the same colors—but what about your thoughts on saving and spending and investing?”
Khalfani and other experts maintain that the best way to determine if you’re fiscally in sync is to—gasp!—sit right down and ask questions.
Of course, in a culture that’s more comfortable discussing egg freezing than nest eggs, that’s much easier said than done. But look at it this way: though talking about finances can take some of the romance out of a relationship, divorce is even worse.
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1 Sometimes Financial Opposites Attract // Nov 30, 2007 at 2:36 pm
[…] had a great article on Financial Compatibility, click here to see […]
2 Mona // Jun 1, 2007 at 5:04 pm
What comments! Photochick, I hope these comments are a joke too… Hey, I work hard for my money, put myself through school -have a Master’s degree, and live on my own without financial help from ANYONE. Oh yes, I wipe my own bottom as well. When it comes time, I want to know what the deal is with my future husband because I am concerned about MY financial well-being. I want to have a good life with MY money, not his.
3 Mike // Jun 1, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Wow, what an article! Since this article is about money, here are my two cents. It is my opinion that marriage is a partnership. So, in essence, if either partner acts independantly with their joint finances, that partner may have the temptation to breach moral and ethical boundaries. Each partner should consolidate their debts and merge their incomes to pay said debts. What’s left over should go in the “kitty” until it has become large enough to make each of them feel as if they will have an umbrella over their heads when “Hell breaks lose.” That is how many people survived the “Great Depression.” In today’s society, people tend to increase their debt as if they are the ones profiting. When in fact, they are only satisfying their materialistic desires and hope that their greed compensates for what they are lacking in their relationship. Owning credit cards is no different than if you were to drive directly into a tornado. Once your there, it’s too late! There is going to be damage because you made the wrong turn or were driving on the wrong path in the first place. I’ve been a Law Enforcement for about 20 years. I’ve responded to hundreds of domestic disputes. What is the number one cause of the dispute? Money Issues. What is number two? Infidilety. What is number three? Trust. I now earn over 100k a year. What do I do with it? I give it to my wife.
4 photochick // May 1, 2007 at 6:29 pm
please tell me these comments are a joke, because they’re really misguided and evil. obviously people get burned financially - women and men both - but really what everyone wants is safety and stability. You create your own life. own it.
5 Bertha // Apr 21, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Yes Ramblnroxy!
We women are independant and can do it on our own. I have been lving off my ex-husbands bank account and his 401k and pension for 3 years now so I can do it on my own…
well, all except wipe my own ass too, just as long as I have HIS money and he earned, I am independant. It is easier then sucking dick to get ahead in the corporate world being most of us women are to god damn stupid to beable to do the same work a man does.
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