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Are You Financially Compatible?
Honesty about financial obligations can ensure a more secure bond.
by Abby Ellin
Kerri Kimball, a representative for the financial firm Strategies for Wealth Creation & Protection, advises couples to have three accounts—his, hers, and theirs. That way, if you want to spend your money on $500 hair extensions, he can’t say anything. Having separate accounts “takes the emotion out of financial decisions,” she says.
Of course, sometimes you think you’re asking all the right questions and you discover—to your dismay—that you weren’t even in the ballpark.
That’s what happened to Monica Schiller, 34, a public relations executive from Los Angeles. She thought she knew all about her husband Ken’s money habits—they were together for five years before they married.
But two weeks post-nuptials, she learned that he hadn’t paid his taxes in three years. Nor, contrary to her belief, did he have any savings, even though he raked in $250,000 a year.
“I freaked out,” says Schiller. “Money is really important to me—I want to be able to put my kid through school, or go to Hawaii for vacation and not feel strapped for cash. And to know that I’m married to someone who doesn’t share that view …well, it’s almost a bigger betrayal than having him sleep with someone else. I could compartmentalize that. But there are so many issues and beliefs rolled up into this. It has tentacles all over the place.”
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1 Sometimes Financial Opposites Attract // Nov 30, 2007 at 2:36 pm
[…] had a great article on Financial Compatibility, click here to see […]
2 Mona // Jun 1, 2007 at 5:04 pm
What comments! Photochick, I hope these comments are a joke too… Hey, I work hard for my money, put myself through school -have a Master’s degree, and live on my own without financial help from ANYONE. Oh yes, I wipe my own bottom as well. When it comes time, I want to know what the deal is with my future husband because I am concerned about MY financial well-being. I want to have a good life with MY money, not his.
3 Mike // Jun 1, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Wow, what an article! Since this article is about money, here are my two cents. It is my opinion that marriage is a partnership. So, in essence, if either partner acts independantly with their joint finances, that partner may have the temptation to breach moral and ethical boundaries. Each partner should consolidate their debts and merge their incomes to pay said debts. What’s left over should go in the “kitty” until it has become large enough to make each of them feel as if they will have an umbrella over their heads when “Hell breaks lose.” That is how many people survived the “Great Depression.” In today’s society, people tend to increase their debt as if they are the ones profiting. When in fact, they are only satisfying their materialistic desires and hope that their greed compensates for what they are lacking in their relationship. Owning credit cards is no different than if you were to drive directly into a tornado. Once your there, it’s too late! There is going to be damage because you made the wrong turn or were driving on the wrong path in the first place. I’ve been a Law Enforcement for about 20 years. I’ve responded to hundreds of domestic disputes. What is the number one cause of the dispute? Money Issues. What is number two? Infidilety. What is number three? Trust. I now earn over 100k a year. What do I do with it? I give it to my wife.
4 photochick // May 1, 2007 at 6:29 pm
please tell me these comments are a joke, because they’re really misguided and evil. obviously people get burned financially - women and men both - but really what everyone wants is safety and stability. You create your own life. own it.
5 Bertha // Apr 21, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Yes Ramblnroxy!
We women are independant and can do it on our own. I have been lving off my ex-husbands bank account and his 401k and pension for 3 years now so I can do it on my own…
well, all except wipe my own ass too, just as long as I have HIS money and he earned, I am independant. It is easier then sucking dick to get ahead in the corporate world being most of us women are to god damn stupid to beable to do the same work a man does.
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