Learn to Look Past Your Imperfect Body

by Carla Hall

“When I would have sex, I would go through these ridiculous contortions to make sure it wasn’t seen,” says Randall, 42. “I would have my arm at my side. If I turned, I might have my hand down there. And I would lie on my right side to go to sleep.” When she did finally point it out to boyfriends, no one ever said anything more judgmental than, “How’d you get that?”

Even model lookalikes are not immune to body insecurity. Sasha Dillon*, 31, has the kind of spectacular looks that leave men dumbfounded.

A dark-skinned black woman who works for a nonprofit organization in Los Angeles, she has beautiful skin and the body of a Playboy centerfold. But she also has stretch marks.

“They go from my thighs up to my butt,” says Dillon. The result of an adolescent growth spurt, the marks look to her like “long, pale tentacles of flesh” that stand out against her brown skin. She tried tanning, exfoliating, and moisturizing.

“I was the only 13-year-old who kept a vat of cocoa butter with me at all times,” she says. When Dillon began dating, she kept up her efforts at camouflage, refusing to walk naked in front of a lover or to have the lights on during sex.