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How an Affair Saved My Marriage
In an unexpected positive twist; an affair brings a marriage back to life.
by Anonymous
It began as a typical Saturday night, out with my closest women friends. But on that particular evening, as we sat, laughing and talking in a popular New York restaurant, acquaintances were seated nearby celebrating their friend Alex’s* birthday.
They invited us to join their table for a toast, which turned into several. When the house music came on and everyone headed for the bar, Alex— handsome and playful—took my hand and led me to the dance floor.
In the time it took for his fingers to encircle mine, what had been a quiet attraction became an all-consuming need. I heard the warning voice in my head reminding me that this was dangerous territory: however alone I might feel, I was, in fact, married.
And then, for the first time in 10 years, I silenced it. As Alex placed his hands on my hips, I knew with absolute clarity that I was about to have an affair. I knew it was a decision that could unravel even the strongest of unions. I never could have guessed that it would save mine.
I had felt this kind of passion only once before, when I first encountered the man who would be my husband. I was wandering my college campus, terrified, when a gorgeous man walked confidently up the hill. He saw me, and asked if he could help me find my way. “Well, yes,” I wanted to respond. “How about for forever? Does forever work for you?”
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1 Portrait of an Open Marriage // Apr 25, 2008 at 4:05 pm
[…] years into our marriage, I began to feel itchy. So I had an affair. She was beautiful, an artist I met through a mutual friend. I deliberately chose to have an affair […]
2 anymynous // Apr 22, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Sometimes, there can be so much lonliness and emptiness within a marriage…it makes a person very vulnerable to the touch of a stranger. When a person constantly hears from other people how interesting, how pretty, how funny, how liked they are, and the one person they crave so badly to hear it from refuses to make the effort (even when you’ve cried, asked, begged countless times before)…well, it can make a person feel pretty empty and pretty vulnerable….I’m not condoning affairs, but word to the wise, if you love your spouse, cherish them, tell them, show them. Don’t leave it to others because you are lazy or selfish.
3 This sucks // Apr 21, 2008 at 8:54 pm
I don’t know what the writer is thinking. Marriage is about emotional attachment than physical intimacy. I believe it is a greater betrayal if your spouse confides her feelings in a other person than you. To make a marriage happy, respect for the marital bond the two people share is as important as love. Some of you have shown empathy towards the writer, but I feel the husband here is one for another heart break. Think from his point of view if he finds about this non-sexual (as the writer feels that all is right since it is not physical) affair with her former (i am not sure if ‘former’ is the correct word to use. the affair is still on) partner in adultery. He’ll not believe what the writer has to say that this relationship is platonic and er are just frens. He will associate this relationship as lack of trust and another betrayal.
If the writer has ever loved her husband, please do a favor and stay away from him. No matter how much James loves the writer, he deserves more; some one who will be faithful and sacrifice for him as he has done. Believe me, this marriage is not saved. You two have just joined for another huge setback to come.
While we can also perceive the situation from the writer’s view, we must realize that there’s got to be an end of this marriage. If there’s another affair coming to this relationship (i don’t want any to be there but still if it comes), I hope James does it.
I am sincerely sorry if I have offended anyone. While each individual has a right to project his/her life as s/he wills and as per his/her values, majority of human civilization will condemn the act of the writer. While majority is not always correct, believe me, in this case it is.
4 Steve Zarconi // Feb 16, 2008 at 2:46 pm
What an incredibly selfish woman, and how lucky this James is…NOT.
5 ignatius reilly // Feb 8, 2008 at 10:50 pm
This piece of fiction reads like a rejected Sex In The City script. More dim vacuous drivel written by hack scribs trying to find some means to pay the rent. Drop a bomb on NYC now. This site sucks!!!
Read All 29 Comments on How an Affair Saved My Marriage