by Dave Itzkoff

These transgressions weren’t forgiven easily, but they were forgiven eventually, because my gorgeous, infinitely tolerant girlfriend gets it: My mistakes aren’t made out of malice, but simple ignorance. If she can learn not to drop me like a rock when I screw up, but give me the benefit of the doubt, our fights will soon be replaced by more blissful, unexpected moments when she leans over to say, with a sigh, “I can’t believe I’m your first serious girlfriend.”

And though I’ll never totally live down the fact that I’m the rookie in our pairing, I find myself wanting to improve at this as I watch first, second, and third anniversaries
pass. Armed with this knowledge, you’ll discover any guy—whether he has 19 exes or none—is potential boyfriend material. Deep inside, we’re just like those forlorn dogs in pet stores, waiting to unleash our love in surprising, and at times, unpredictable ways. And we’ll learn. Just be patient when you first take us home.

Dave Itzkoff is the author of Lads: A Memoir, and is also a columnist for The New York Times Book Review