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Are Same-Sex Hook-ups Cheating?
She's engaged but still wants to experiment. Cathi and Dan advise.
by Cathi Hanauer & Dan Jones
His Take: People act like marriage comes with a rulebook. It doesn’t. It’s up to you and your partner to decide what’s permissible in your relationship—so it’s not too late for either of you to do anything with anyone before or after you get hitched, as long as you’re both OK with it.
Alas, I suspect what you’re really asking is, “Am I allowed to fulfill this fantasy without him knowing?” In which case I must insist on turning the tables: How would you feel if you discovered he’d squeezed in a secret gay affair before the wedding?
A betrayal may not seem as serious when couched as a “fantasy,” and perhaps your fiance would feel less threatened by a fling with a woman than with an old boyfriend. It’s your choice to roll the dice on such a gamble.
Check Out What Cathi And Dan Have To Say About Men And Multitasking.
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1 Jag // Mar 26, 2008 at 10:04 am
Don’t need to even read this story I’ve read enough similar ones and my opinion does not change. Sex is sex..does not matter what orafice is used or even if anyone came. God I’ve spent the night in bed with another woman nude and non-nude all that touching and kissing and pillow talk! I felt more like I was cheating then then some of the quickies I’d done with lots of cumming!
2 Harper Jean Tobin // Mar 11, 2008 at 8:47 am
The advice here is pretty decent, but the title is appallingly heterosexist and just plain sexist. Of *course* same-sex hook-ups are cheating — if they are secret and illicit — just as different-sex hook-ups are. Few women would have any doubt about this with regard to their male partners hooking up with guys. The question only arises with female couplings due to the belief of some straight guys that woman-woman sex is not “real” sex because it doesn’t involve a(n attached) penis - a notion that not only demeans homosexuality but demeans women.