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Are Dating Sites Blackballing You?
Dissed by a dating site? Tango takes on the touchy subject.
by Sandra Barron
“They’ve spent tens of millions in advertising money saying that there’s no one selling their matchmaking method,” Pasternak says, “and when you’re selling a service, you can’t decide who you sell your service to.”
Non-discrimination law covers sexual orientation in the state of California, but not in most other states. What then? And what about those banished for slightly fuzzier reasons?
Clay Shirky, from NYU’s Interactive Telecommunication Program says the issue points to new questions that life on the web brings to light. Legality aside, he says “There’s an issue of ‘okay-ness,’ and I think that’s where the fight is to be fought.”
Internet interactions mirror the real life friction society has always had between what is allowed, and what people find acceptable. “That problem of ‘okay-ness’ is probably centered around eHarmony’s seemingly inclusive ad campaigns—and exclusive practices. Their advertising is pervasive in a way that other niche sites aren’t,” he explains. “It’s kind of in your face with ads everywhere, and then you get there and find out it’s behind some kind of velvet rope. That doesn’t sit well with people.”
Tango’s Take: Just as it’s taboo—but not illegal—to lie to a potential date about your age, marital status, or amount of remaining hair, a dating site should present itself honestly. If eHarmony has succeeded in crafting an algorithm that helps you weed out unsuitable partners, why not tout the fact that membership is quasi-exclusive?
The controversy here seems to lie in the gulf between perception and practice. eHarmony should be free to reject you or me, for just cause, but suggesting they’ve rolled out the red carpet to anyone looking to shake their single status is a bit misleading.
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1 Dating roadmap » Dating site rejections // Dec 6, 2007 at 3:29 am
[…] Source [Tango Mag] […]
2 TheGate2Date.com | Should a dating site be allowed to refuse you membership? // Dec 5, 2007 at 7:08 am
[…] that sooner or later, they’ll probably beeharmonyreject1.jpg rejected—by a potential suitor.read more | digg […]
3 Online Daters Sue Company Because Of Inability To Find A Match // Oct 22, 2007 at 11:09 am
[…] policy to just deny service to people that it may be difficult to match? Check out our story on Blackball Dating. Read More Of The Original Article… RATE THIS (No Ratings Yet) Loading […]
4 Online Dating Goes Uber-Niche // Oct 19, 2007 at 3:48 pm
[…] If general dating websites have let you down, join the club. One in five people who turn to eHarmony for matches receive a “Dear John” rejection letter, excluded for reasons such as sexual orientation and religious preference. Get the scoop on why the company is under fire for this practice here. […]
5 Nick Byram // Aug 5, 2007 at 9:11 pm
I was one of the eharmony rejects as well. But class action lawsuit? Ugh, no, don’t be a commie.
Eharmony rejected us and it hurts? Oh, puh-leeze, let’s get over ourselves.
It’s their business, they can do what they want. They didn’t want to have me, so I didn’t give them any of my money. There are countless other dating sites out there.
Lawyer Jeremy Pasternak is a slimy weasel.
Read All 9 Comments on Are Dating Sites Blackballing You?