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Should You Stop Looking for Mr. Perfect?
Should you hold out for Mr. Perfect?
by Susan King
You ask about lowering the bar. After the initial infatuation phase, it’s natural for desire to ebb and flow. A smart couple, rather than being discouraged by a lull, can find ways to reignite the flame through care and creativity. Perhaps your previous infatuations could have deepened if you had known that long-term relationships require work and compromise. In the future, do not lower the bar; instead, raise reasonable expectations.
Your letter suggests that in your book, there are only two lifestyle choices available: single and lonely, or married with children. In fact, there are many other options. You can have children without a partner, you can have a partner without children, you can have several partners, or you can have no partner. Whatever turns your life takes, it is important to seek personal fulfillment—and avoid the attitude that you are always waiting for something better.
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1 Kim // Mar 31, 2008 at 4:50 pm
eharmony is the same as all the sites and the same as any other place you can meet single people. Even being attractive doesn’t help. it seems if you’re not exactly what people are looking for, and you don’t sleep with them on the second date, there is rarely a third date. I’m giving up the great hunt and am starting to live with the idea that I’m not looking for “him” but that some day he might find me.
2 Jen // Jul 21, 2007 at 3:15 pm
She should try online dating. The ratio of men to women there is 60/40 so the odds are great. Maybe she should try something like eharmony.com, which “customizes” a suitable partner. Also, she needs to be less idealistic about her partner.