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The Great Name Debate
It’s time to play the Name Game. We don’t mean that old song from the 60s with the Frankie Frankie Bo Bankie Banana nana something or other routine. We mean the eternal question that faces every bride-to-be: So….are ya changing your name?
Yuck. I hate this question, and so should every woman out there. Oh, I know I could go on and on about how lucky we are as women to have a choice about the matter these days, but to be honest, I wish we could just go by our first names and be done with it. I have come to the conclusion that there is no good choice out there. You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t. Man, I never learned that in any Women’s Studies classes back in college. Sigh.
Anyway, here are your options, with the pros and cons to go along with them.
Taking His Name
Pros:
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1 Danielle // Jun 2, 2007 at 7:29 pm
This whole name changing thing does suck. My mother did not change her last name when she got married, and this was awhile ago when it was less common. I have a hyphenated last name, which is annoying but can be cool. It is absolutely unique. So… if I change my name, it is lost forever. Also, can’t add another hyphen at this point unless I want to sound like a law firm. Finally, I don’t like my SO’s last name. It’s fine for him, would sound really weird for me. So, it will be fun to see how it turns out.
2 Jennifer // Jun 8, 2007 at 1:09 pm
I just got engaged, so have really been thinking about this whole name change thing. I don’t want to lose my last, but would like to have the same last name as my husband so that we/our kids all have the same name. I love the idea of hyphenating, but does anyone know, can I legally hyphenate but go by my husband’s last name only?
I don’t necessarily want to be called by both names, just don’t want to have my name disappear into thin air.
If that option above is not possible, I will probably just add my maiden name to my middle name and have two middle names…even more confusing (and creating a total of 30 letters!)
3 cheryl // Jul 16, 2007 at 8:34 pm
My MIL to be is so angry at me right now, she is threatening to boycott our wedding. All because I am keeping my maiden name when I get married in September. Now, we are both in our early 50’s, my 2nd marriage, but his first. You think she would be happy that ther only son is finally getting married, right? We don’t have any kids, we’re too old now to have kids, so that’s not the issue. She thinks I’m disrespecting him by not taking his name. He’s fine with me keeping my name, by the way. His mom is very old fashioned … never worked professionally, never had her own accounts, investments, etc, so she isn’t up on modern developments ( or just doesn’t want to ). I just plain like my name and want to keep it, short and simple. I think she should respect my decision and we should agree to disagree and move on. She’s the type, however, who will hold a grudge forever and never let it go. I can live with this, but I feel sorry for my future husband. He’s caught in the middle and it’s not fair.