|
Can a Democrat Love A Republican?
Can a Republican and a Democrat live happily ever after?
by Caroline Tiger
Politics came up, but only one issue sent me into paroxysms—I couldn’t change his mind on marriage being preferable to civil unions for same-sex partners. His argument was based on semantics. Mine was driven by emotion. After many rounds of talking in circles, we agreed to disagree.
But the biggest stressor, I was discovering, was my friends. It started when a good friend—an old friend—chose not to invite us to her family’s beach house where I’d visited, often with a boyfriend, nearly every summer for a decade.
She didn’t think it was a good idea for J and her husband to be in such close quarters for a prolonged amount of time. She was afraid of what her husband might do if the talk turned to politics. “It’s better if we do something else together first,” she said, “like dinner.”
Then there was the friend who’d recently moved to D.C. When we met her and her boyfriend, E, for brunch, a discussion about Condoleezza Rice quickly escalated. I grew more and more uncomfortable as E yelled at J over the table. I tried to change the subject. J didn’t. He explained his position coolly as E’s face grew redder and redder. J wasn’t upset afterward, but I was.
When we went to London for a week, I dragged J to dinner with an ex-boyfriend from my semester abroad in college. The ex e-mailed once I was back home to tell me he was worried about me.
It was crazy. Here was a sweet, sincere guy—someone who had nursed his mother through breast cancer, who refused to gossip or even tell white lies, who had a knack for smoothing away my neuroses, who made me feel safe, who willingly went to dinner with an ex-boyfriend while we were on vacation.
 (No Ratings Yet) Loading ... |
Email to a Friend
Share on Facebook
Digg It
Delicious
Newsvine
Stumble
Reddit
1 karri // Mar 2, 2008 at 11:33 pm
i guess i’m more republican, but he is more democrat, but i stand corrected b/c he doesn’t like to associate w/ either party. its more a thing about humananity
2 karri // Mar 2, 2008 at 11:30 pm
my situation is the opposite. while i’m more a moderate, my b/f is an extreme liberal–i love him, but it drives me nuts! i want to make it work, but i don’t know how without these things getting in the way…any suggestions??
3 Politically Incorrect // Feb 25, 2008 at 1:04 pm
[…] out what Tango had to say, as well as a recent Modern Love clip from the New York Times. Post Comment […]
4 Sue // Feb 1, 2008 at 10:44 am
My husband and I have been married 42 years–he, a registered Republican and me, a registered Democrat. The reason we have different parties represented is to vote for the “Person” representing that party, NOT THE “PARTY”. At least that is what we were taught. Respect for one another and a vote for the “person”. Loyalty and respect for the “President” of our Country no matter who they are; “Patriotism”, not “Partisonship”. Clearly I am older than you, but I do want to make a comment about pro-choice. Where would you be if a choice was deliberately made when you were conceived?
5 Larry // Jan 15, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Sarah, you couldn’t be more right. Almost all my friends on the left are not capable of having a calm discourse over political differences. They get red-faced almost immediately when I tell them that I mostly agree with the right. And I have found that they get even angrier when I stay focused and explain my positions without the theatrics! It’s almost comical.
I am lucky to have found and married a woman who isn’t glued to any kind of ideology. She has, and has taught me, the ability to see the frauds on both sides of the argument.
Read All 20 Comments on Can a Democrat Love A Republican?