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Can a Democrat Love A Republican?
Can a Republican and a Democrat live happily ever after?
by Caroline Tiger
She brought up what she calls a “love map”—a subconscious list we’ve been making since we were kids of what we’re looking for in a mate. It may include a sense of humor like our father’s, or a relationship with a lot of teasing. I wondered if that effortless feeling of familiarity with J was related to my parents being Republican.
Fisher also mentioned the social-exchange theory of attraction—that we want a person who can give us what we need and vice versa. This is the rich man/beautiful woman theory. The material exchanged can also be intellectual. Fisher, a scientist, values her own partner for his literary acumen.
It’s easy to list what I get from this exchange with J: He knows every joke from every Simpsons and Seinfeld episode. He’s sentimental—he can’t throw away birthday cards from five years ago. He’s goofy—we have running jokes like the one about writing a musical called “Crazy Town” (long story).
He’s careful and deliberate, when I am . . . well, neither. And, like me, he’s passionate about what he believes. Maybe my attraction to J is like the appeal of a guy who’s been engaged—you think that if he’s been there, done that once, he’s not afraid of commitment. With someone who’s passionate about his beliefs, you know he has the capability to feel the same way about you.
J moved to Philadelphia. He’s been here about a year, and it looks like, yes, Mr. Right is Mr. Right. Being with him hasn’t changed my views, except that I’ll never again jump to conclusions about someone based on their political affiliation. We’re okay with continuing to cancel out each other’s vote—at least on a national stage. (Philadelphia politics is its own hairy beast.) I’m not worried about how our future kids will vote—I think it’ll be to their benefit to see both sides.
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1 Maria Shriver: Dating Coach-Matchmaker // Oct 7, 2008 at 1:03 pm
[…] you make a blockbuster movie playing Arnold Schwarzenegger’s sidekick, you get taken care of. And Tom Arnold is finding this out the hard way. The […]
2 karri // Mar 2, 2008 at 11:33 pm
i guess i’m more republican, but he is more democrat, but i stand corrected b/c he doesn’t like to associate w/ either party. its more a thing about humananity
3 karri // Mar 2, 2008 at 11:30 pm
my situation is the opposite. while i’m more a moderate, my b/f is an extreme liberal–i love him, but it drives me nuts! i want to make it work, but i don’t know how without these things getting in the way…any suggestions??
4 Politically Incorrect // Feb 25, 2008 at 1:04 pm
[…] out what Tango had to say, as well as a recent Modern Love clip from the New York Times. Post Comment […]
5 Sue // Feb 1, 2008 at 10:44 am
My husband and I have been married 42 years–he, a registered Republican and me, a registered Democrat. The reason we have different parties represented is to vote for the “Person” representing that party, NOT THE “PARTY”. At least that is what we were taught. Respect for one another and a vote for the “person”. Loyalty and respect for the “President” of our Country no matter who they are; “Patriotism”, not “Partisonship”. Clearly I am older than you, but I do want to make a comment about pro-choice. Where would you be if a choice was deliberately made when you were conceived?
Read All 21 Comments on Can a Democrat Love A Republican?