“I’m Young; His Friends Hate Me”

Turns out, an older man's friends aren't necessarily more mature...

by Vanessa Kitchen

dating an older rman, his friends, jealousy, takenWhen I moved to New York right after college, finding a boyfriend was the last thing on my mind. I was 22, single, and enjoying the fact that bars in the city stayed open until 4 a.m.

Out one night near my apartment, I pressed myself against the bar and tried to get the bartender’s attention. He didn’t notice, but an older guy next to me, slightly balding with a crooked nose, did. He ordered four shots of Jameson. “You want one?” He asked, looking at me sideways. He was cute, I observed, broad-shouldered and solidly built. “Whiskey is an old man’s drink,” I said. “Oh, really? We’ll see about that,” he replied, handing me a shot. I took it quickly and gagged while he slammed his without flinching. “Can’t handle the ‘old man’s drink,’ huh?” he teased. We continued to joke back and forth, and despite the fact that I’d just graduated from college, and he probably had a decade ago, it seemed we had a lot in common. We’d both gone to school in the Northeast, had traveled around the world, loved skiing in Lake Tahoe and watching professional hockey. He was funny, articulate, and charming. We stayed deep in conversation until last call, and eventually he asked for my number.

“You’re way too old for me,” I said. “How old are you, like 30?” “Yeah,” he said. “How old are you?” “26,” I lied. I knew that if he knew I was 22 the conversation would soon be over, and I was enjoying it, despite myself. I gave him my number and he hailed me a cab. Two minutes later, I got a text. ““My name is Michael…in case you forgot.” I had forgotten. “Thanks…I was struggling with that…I bet you don’t remember mine either though.” “Vanessa,” he responded. Oops.

On our first date, I was telling Michael about my upcoming birthday plans when the truth came out. “How old are you again?” he asked. “Um, well, I told you I was 26. But I’m actually turning 23.” I was really nervous he would freak out, but instead he started to laugh. “Oh, wow,” he said. “You’re a young one.” I said I hadn’t wanted to scare him off by telling him my real age, and he agreed that he probably wouldn’t have gotten my number if he had known I was so young. Before I knew it, we were well into dessert, and I realized I didn’t want the dinner to end. As we grinned at each other across the table, maybe it was just the buzz from the wine, but I began to think that maybe eight years age difference wouldn’t be so bad.

Then Michael kissed me goodnight, and I couldn’t stop smiling all the way home. My roommates grilled me, and I gushed about how smart, handsome, and hilarious he was. I really felt a connection with him, I told them. After all these stupid hook-ups with college guys, I might have really found someone I could fall for. I was so giddy, I stayed up all night replaying our date over and over in my mind. It was perfect.

 
 
Readers Who Like This Article Also Dig....
 
6 Comments
Print This Post
 Email to a Friend  Email to a Friend
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (2 votes, average: 3 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...
facebook_share_icon  Share on Facebook 
Digg  Digg It 
del_icio_us  Delicious 
Newsvine  Newsvine 
StumbleUpon  Stumble 
reddit  Reddit 
6 responses so far
  • 1 LEMONDROP // Feb 17, 2008 at 1:12 am

    You are sooo lame. The guy needs you for sex and your pretending it’s not that. You have no where to go, because you can’t meet someone your own age and clearly have “daddy” issues. Your whining screams that you know he’s going to dump you - you just don’t know when….. can’t wait to see this unfold. You can’t even see that you sound even more juvenile than then 23. You sound pathetic and lonely……

  • 2 Inside McCain’s Marriage // Feb 12, 2008 at 1:23 pm

    […] hero, a former prisoner in North Vietnam; she was the daughter of a wealthy beer distributor and almost 20 years his junior. They met in 1979 at a reception in Honolulu. “We both lied about our ages,” Cindy told a […]

  • 3 Booyah! // Jan 28, 2008 at 4:00 pm

    Good for you for sticking it out! Way to be adventurous - I love this article :)

  • 4 YngGrl2 // Jan 23, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    Anonymous, it sounds like you need to get out and let lose. Vanessa sounds like a normal 23 year old girl who has recently graduated from college and enjoying life in NYC. I think that your comment is ridiculous and completely out of line.

    As for the article - I think it is great. Not only is it well written and captivating, but it also relates well to a lot of 20something NYC women. I hope to be hearing a lot more from you in the near future!

  • 5 Anon // Jan 16, 2008 at 11:40 pm

    13 years seems like a lot, but it obviously depends on the couple. I’ve found myself in almost the same situation as you, except my guy looks nowhere near his age…i.e. nobody would suspect that we’re more than five years apart (if that), and certainly not the decade that separates us. Either way, I’ve found that most of the issues are in my own head. At the end of the day age really just is a number, cliched as it may sound. Relax, let go, and enjoy it. Soulmates don’t always come in neat, “perfect” packages.

  •  
    Read All 6  Comments on "I'm Young; His Friends Hate Me"
 
Name:
Mail:
Website:
Comment: